


The Only Wizard at Luna Nova

by SecretEvening



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Coming Out, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Falling In Love, Light Angst, Polyamory, Romance, Sweet, Trans Male Amanda O'Neill, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-01-27 02:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretEvening/pseuds/SecretEvening
Summary: Amanda O'Neill is trans, but she doesn't know it yet. As she struggles with confusing feelings about her escapades at Appleton, she finds an unexpected ally in Diana Cavendish. With Diana's help, and Akko's ever-enthusiastic support, it's time for her to find out who she is.Amanda O'Neill is scared, but she isn't alone.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Amanda O'Neill, Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari/Amanda O'Neill
Comments: 34
Kudos: 131





	1. Allies, Expected and Otherwise

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this fic for AGES, so I'm excited to see what you all think of it.
> 
> To set expectations - the main focus here will be Amanda coming into her identity as a trans man, but the Amanda/Diana romance is a big part, and Akko/Diana is an already established relationship that will be present throughout the fic.
> 
> Updates every other week.

“Metamorphie Vestesse”

Amanda speaks the spell in a low voice that definitely isn’t shaky and nervous. Definitely not. Trails of magic spiral around her Luna Nova uniform, weaving a familiar illusion. When the light dissipates, she’s wearing a tightly-fitted and stylish black suit, the same one she used to disguise herself when she and Akko broke into Appleton. Just like then, her hair is slicked back into a spiky, boyish cut.

She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes.

An apprehensive gaze stares into the mirror. Watches as she turns to view herself in profile. She faces forward again and adjusts her collar before running a hand through her hair. The hand falls, and she stands straight and tall, trading out her usual languid posture for squared shoulders and a raised chin. As if it’s on some sort of delay, the sight truly sinks in, and a swirl of emotion hits her with the force of a truck. She’s giddy, and excited, and uncomfortable, and scared, and the intensity of all of it crashing around in her gut is too much. Tears spring to her eyes, and she clasps her hands over her mouth, where they muffle a choked sob.

That’s when Akko bursts into the green team dorm.

“Hey Amanda did you hear about-” Amanda just about jumps out of her skin, frantically undoing the metamorphosis spell and desperately trying to wipe the tears from her eyes before Akko notices. It’s a futile effort. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah-Yeah! I’m fine! What’s up Akko?” Amanda scrambles to pull her headspace back into something resembling normal. She tries to muster her usual confidence, but she can’t keep the fragile, uncertain edge out of her voice.

“I’m not stupid y’know. You were crying. What’s going on? I can help you out.”

“You can help by backing off,” Amanda snaps. Her mind struggles to calm down, her impulses screaming at her, winding her limbs up with tension. Stay cool. Stay in control. Don’t let Akko see. Get out in front of the questions, cut them off. 

She drops back onto her bed, sitting in the middle and leaning back against the wall with her eyes closed and her arms crossed behind her head, projecting a casual confidence that she does not feel.

“Hmm,” Akko drags the sound out, “Nope! I don’t think I will.” She flops down onto Constanze’s bed, staring at Amanda with a smug look. “I think I’m gonna lie on this bed and stay here until you tell me what’s going on.”

Amanda affects an overly dramatic voice, with a thick layer of sarcasm beneath it, “Well you see, I was checking out how the suit looks on me, and I just had to weep, because I look so damn hot, and _ someone _ has to properly appreciate it. They were tears of joy, really.”

Akko narrows her eyes. “I don’t think I’m convinced.” Then her eyes flick off to the side and she bites her lip, deep in consideration. “Although, to be fair, you do look really cool in that suit.”

Another twist of emotion pulls in Amanda’s gut, and she covers the lurching feeling with a cocky smirk.

“You know it babe.”

Akko throws a pillow at her. “I am _ not _ your babe.” Amanda laughs and blocks the pillow with her arm. “Why don’t you try it on again, I wanna see.”

Amanda stills. That’s not a good idea at all, her panicked mind insists. It will be way harder to deflect when she’s wearing the suit and trying to deal with all the emotions that come with it. Then she forces that train of thought to stop. She reminds herself that this is _ Akko. _ Akko is many things, but judgmental is not one of them.

“Yeah, sure,” she shrugs, feigning nonchalance. She hops back up to her feet and grabs her wand from where she left it on the windowsill, fumbling with it when she picks it up with shaking fingers. A deep breath to steady herself, and then she casts the spell again and transforms.

“Whoa.” Akko’s eyes widen and sparkle with excitement; Not that that’s a particular unusual expression for her. Amanda shifts uncomfortably, feeling self-conscious, like she’s being examined under a microscope. “You look so good! I guess I didn’t notice when we were at Appleton, there was a lot going on.” Akko scratches the back of her neck sheepishly. Amanda looks away from Akko, not trusting herself to hold an even expression.

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m here to give you an encore performance, isn’t it?” she blusters. In her attempt to avoid Akko’s gaze, she inadvertently ends up looking right into the mirror again. That swirling, overwhelming sensation rises up from where she had shunted it down below the surface, the sight of herself in the mirror triggering it to roar back up into her awareness. She blinks rapidly, tries to push through it, but it keeps rising, and it starts to leak into her eyes, wetness gathering in the corners, and dammit, dammit, this is exactly what she wanted to avoid. A choked noise comes out of her mouth as tears stubbornly escape her eyes. Akko jumps up in alarm.

“Hey, are you okay?” She rushes to Amanda’s side. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to wear the suit again, you changed out of it when I came in before, and I could tell you were upset, and I don’t know why I didn’t think that the suit had something to do with it, and I was complimenting you a lot and I probably made you really uncomfortable, you don’t have to-” Akko rambles frantically.

“Akko, shut up.” Amanda interrupts. She doesn’t want to make Akko feel guilty, but at the same time, if she tells Akko that it’s not her fault she’s upset, she’ll have to explain the _ actual _ reason. There’s no way she can do that. Akko will just have to deal with feeling guilty for a little while. Then she makes the mistake of looking into Akko’s eyes, which are wide and pleading and concerned and _ dammit, _ Amanda could never bring herself to hurt Akko, especially when faced with those big, red, worried eyes. “It’s not your fault, you don’t need to keep tripping over yourself to apologize.”

“Oh good,” Akko sighs, “But you’re still upset, right? What’s going on?” Amanda grits her teeth. There it is. The exact question she doesn’t want to answer.

“Its… It’s-ugh, it’s complicated, okay?”

“Well then you gotta tell me. If it’s complicated, we’ll definitely need two brains on the case if we’re gonna figure it out.” Amanda’s persistent frown twinges upward for just a moment. There’s something about Akko that’s always so disarming. It’s impossible to stay guarded or defensive around her, she’s just too earnest.

“I don’t know,” Amanda begins at length, “It’s just, seeing myself in this suit… it feels really good.” Akko quirks her head to the side.

“Why would that make you sad?”

“It doesn’t make me sad. Or I guess it kind of does? It’s like I’m happy and sad at the same time, and it’s all rattling around in my brain too fast for me to keep up.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Akko nods sagely, “When I was little I had a pet goldfish, and one day, it died. My mom bought me a booster pack of Shiny Chariot cards to help me feel better, and I got a really rare card that I wanted, which made me really happy, but I kept thinking that I only got that card because Goldie died, so it made me really sad every time I played with it.” 

Amanda snorts with laughter.

“Hey!” Akko protests, “Goldie was my best friend when I was seven, don’t laugh!”

“You can’t say things like that and expect me not to make fun of you.” Amanda grins at her, nervousness temporarily forgotten. Akko huffs and crosses her arms over her chest with a pout.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Akko grumbles, and then refocuses, “But why does wearing a suit make you feel all that stuff?”

Well.

That’s the crux of the issue, isn’t it?

“It, uh, I guess when I look at myself like this, it kinda… makes me feel like a guy.” She mumbles her way through the words, studiously averting her eyes from Akko’s gaze, passing it off as examining her nails.

“Amanda it’s okay, girls can wear suits too y’know. Just ‘cuz you like wearing suits, that doesn’t mean you’re less of a girl.” Amanda sucks in a deep breath. This is the hard part. The part she has never spoken aloud to anyone. Even to herself. But if she can tell anyone, it would be Akko, right? Akko, ever-positive, supportive Akko, pretty much her best friend in the world. She breathes out slowly and steels her nerves.

“No, Akko, that part isn’t what makes me feel bad. I, uh, I actually kinda _ want _ to feel like a guy.”

There.

She said it.

The words are real now. They exist in the world, in the brain of a person who isn’t herself. They can’t be unsaid. This is real now.

Embarrassment is not a feeling that Amanda is well acquainted with. She doesn’t concern herself with other people’s opinions. But right now? Amanda is embarrassed. She stares at the ground, cheeks bright red. There’s a long moment where Akko doesn’t respond. She says nothing, and Amanda can’t see the expression on her face. Panic rises in her chest, and she fidgets with her fingers, unable to keep still with all this nervous energy running through her. And then Akko speaks.

“Well I don’t think I really get it, but that’s pretty cool too.” Akko’s voice is still bubbly and cheerful. Amanda whips her gaze up to meet Akko’s. She’s not entirely sure what response she was expecting, but she knows that wasn’t it.

“...Cool?” Amanda asks softly.

“Yeah! You should wear the suit more often!”

“What? Akko, I’m pretty sure you have _ eyes, _ I’m _ not _ a boy, why should I-”

“Well, if feeling like a boy makes you happy, then who cares?” That stops Amanda short. She stares at Akko, opens her mouth, then closes it, searching for words she can’t find. The thought settles in her brain, and she starts laughing.

_ Who cares? _

Leave it to Akko to make it so beautifully simple. Since when is she one to care what other people think about her? She’s Amanda fucking O’Neill. She does what she wants, and anybody who doesn’t like it can piss off. Why should this be any different?

“Y’know, for someone so dumb, you can be pretty wise sometimes.” Amanda says, still laughing, and flicks Akko’s forehead.

“Ow, hey! I’m not dumb.” Akko grumbles, crossing her arms again.

“Exactly, that’s what I said.”

“No it isn’t, you said I’m dumb!”

“No I said you’re wise.”

“You _ also _ said I’m dumb.”

“Agree to disagree, then.”

Akko sticks her tongue out at Amanda, who smirks and waggles her eyebrows at her. Akko giggles, and Amanda is laughing again, already feeling far calmer than she was before. Akko glances over at sees the clock sitting on Jasminka’s desk.

“Oh, dang, I gotta go! Tonight is movie night with Diana, I’m almost late.”

“Movie night? Is this like a regular thing for you two?” 

Akko beams at her. “Yeah, every Thursday night we chill in her dorm and cuddle and watch movies and stuff. It’s great.” She turns around and runs towards the exit, calling out back over her shoulder. “I gotta go, talk to you later Amanda!”

“Alright, have fun with your girlfriend.” Amanda calls out, but Akko is already gone. The door slams closed behind her, and Amanda shakes her head. Akko’s endless wellspring of energy surpasses even her own. She looks back in the mirror. That same swirling feeling starts up again, but it’s calmer now - a peaceful, warm energy that flows through her veins. She smiles.

Then the door bangs open and Akko is in her room again.

“Wait, shoot, I got distracted, I came here to do something!” She exclaims, out of breath, having clearly been sprinting through the halls. Amanda turns to face her, and after a moment, when Akko doesn’t continue, she raises one eyebrow in a questioning stare. Akko’s mouth opens, then closes, and she holds up a finger as if to object to something that hasn’t actually been said. “I forgot what it was.” She mumbles, and Amanda explodes with laughter. “Don’t laugh!”

“Sorry, sorry, just give me a second,” Amanda wheezes, “I’m too busy making fun of you.”

“It’s not my fault, you look too handsome in that suit, you distracted me.” Akko grumbles. Amanda’s laughter trails off, and her cheeks turn pink. Dammit, how can Akko just go and say things like that? It’s not fair. Amanda shakes her head to snap out of it. She grins and refocuses on Akko.

“Alright, let’s figure this out. Did you need to ask me something?”

Akko shakes her head.

“Did you need Jasna for anything?”

Another head shake.

“Something from Conz? Or her workshop?”

Akko snaps her fingers, then exclaims excitedly, “Yes! Right! She built a projector a while back, and she said I could borrow it for movie night.” She rushes over to Constanze’s closet and retrieves the bulky projector from the floor, hefting it with two arms. She rushes out the door with a waddling half-jog, weighed down by the heavy equipment. Amanda has a sudden urge to stop her, to thank her for talking about this with her, but she doesn’t do it. She just waves as Akko leaves again with a goodbye shouted over her retreating shoulder.

Amanda sighs, not unhappily, and looks at the mirror one more time. She nods her head and sits down at her desk to actually finish some homework for once.

She doesn’t transform out of her suit.

* * *

Amanda bursts with energy as she sprints out the door of the classroom the next day. It’s Friday, it’s a gorgeous day outside, and after spending the entire class staring out the window instead of paying attention, it’s time to go outside and fly. Or at least that was the plan. When she bursts out the door, she’s intercepted by a measured, haughty voice.

“Amanda.”

She resists the urge to groan. Despite how much closer the red, green, and blue teams have become since the missile crisis, Amanda and Diana have remained at arm’s length. Amanda doesn’t _ try _ to piss Diana off. Really, she doesn’t! Ever since Diana and Akko started dating, she’s been making an effort to tone things down, not wanting to put her best friend in an uncomfortable position, and Diana has made an effort too. Things are calmer between them now, but they’re still not _ friends. _ And she is the last person Amanda wants to see right now, when she’s so impatient to get outside and get in the air.

Still, in that spirit of keeping things civil, she restrains herself from just blowing past Diana and ignoring her. Besides, Diana actually used her first name, that’s unusual in and of itself. With Diana it’s usually _ O’Neill. _ She must be in a good mood today.

“What’s up princess?” Amanda greets her. “Come to yell at me for running in the halls?”

“Well you really should be more care-” Diana shakes her head and interrupts herself, “No, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Well then what is it? I’m guessing it’s not for my charming personality.”

Diana ignores her quip. “I was actually looking to speak with you for a moment if you are free. Do you have any other classes after this?”

“I’ve got one more, but I was planning on blowing it off anyways, so yeah, I’m free.” Amanda shrugs. Diana pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers and continues in an exasperated voice.

“O’Neill-” Ah, there it is, “I really must insist that you attend your classes. They are very important to your-”

“Yeah, blah, blah, I know the whole story, but I’m skipping the class either way, so we might as well talk now, since you’re already here.” Students stream through the hallway around them. Diana sighs and looks around at the crowd.

“Very well. I suppose I’m unlikely to dissuade you either way.” she concedes. That gets Amanda’s attention. Diana _ never _ lets things like that slide. “It would be better for us to speak in private. Would you come with me?” Normally Amanda would rather subject herself to one of Sucy’s poisons than spend a beautiful Friday afternoon talking with Diana Cavendish, but she has a feeling that something is up.

“Sure thing princess, lead the way.”

“Must you always call me that?” Diana exasperatedly protests as she leads Amanda down the hall.

“Yep.” Amanda pops her lips on the last letter. The two of them don’t talk much as they walk. Diana says nothing, and Amanda finds that without allowing herself to indulge in her usual antagonistic snarkiness, she doesn’t actually have much to say either. Eventually they find their way to the library, which is mostly empty, given that it’s the start of the weekend. Diana strides purposefully past all of the tables in the center, and leads Amanda to a small nook in the very back of the library that she’s never seen before. It’s a little corner separated from the main room, surrounded on each side with books, with only a narrow entrance leading to the rest of the rows outside. There’s a small table with a reading lamp on it, and a few chairs.

“Huh, this is a really cool spot.” Amanda muses, flopping down into one of the chairs. “Now what’s up? What’s the big secret that we had to come all the way over here for?” Diana sits in the chair across the table from her and looks to the side, not meeting Amanda’s eyes. _ Very _ unusual.

“Akko and I spent some time together last night.” Diana begins.

“Yeah, yeah, your girlfriend told me about your little Thursday night tradition. Very cute, by the way.”

Diana ignores her flippant, dismissive tone and speaks in a soft, careful voice.

“While we were together, Akko told me about the discussion you two had earlier in the evening.” Amanda’s face blanches. Her body jolts with sudden adrenaline. Her eyes go wide. No, no no no, of all the people in the school to know about this, please, not _ her. _

“And what of it? You got a problem with that?” Amanda growls, folding her arms over her chest and scowling. Diana shoots her an incredulous look.

“Hardly. I’m not here to chastise you. For once.”

“Well then what do you want?”

“I wanted to make sure you were aware that Akko told me. You have a right to know that. And I want to assuage your fears. Akko didn’t fully understand the private nature of your concerns. Once she told me about it, I let her know that it was inappropriate to share that information with me. She promised me that she would not speak to anyone else about it.”

“Why the hell would you tell me that Diana? God! Assuage my fears? I wouldn’t _ have _ any fears if you just kept it to yourself.” Amanda raises her voice, and then cuts herself off, leaning back in her seat and looking off to the side, fist clenched in front of her mouth. They’re in the library. Anyone will be able to hear them if she’s too loud. 

Diana furrows her brow. “Don’t try to blame this on me Amanda,” she demands, “I did not _ ask _ Akko to tell me. I’m doing what I can to control the damage, that’s why I’m here.”

“No, you’re here so you can make yourself feel self-righteous.” Amanda spits.

“Excuse me?” Diana’s tone is suddenly furious.

“Why did you tell me that you know? I wouldn’t be feeling bad in the first place if you hadn’t said anything! You felt guilty because you knew something you shouldn’t, and you decided that being all _ noble _ and _ honest _ would make you feel better, even though it’s making _ me _ feel like shit.”

Diana’s eyes widen. “I… I didn’t think-”

“Of course you didn’t think about that,” Amanda lets out a bitter laugh, “You never think about how the things you do will make people _ feel.” _ Diana’s gaze flits down and her fingers clutch the sleeves of her uniform, fidgeting.

“That’s not true.” She speaks, barely a whisper, “But… I am sorry.”

Amanda experiences a sudden, stomach-dropping sensation as the wave of her anger surges forward, expecting to break against Diana’s resistance but finding none there. It’s like the unexpected fall when you’re pushing against something as hard as you can and it suddenly gives way, your own strength sending you careening forward now that there’s nothing to absorb it.

Diana looks _ vulnerable, _ and Amanda has no idea how to react to such an unfamiliar sight. Her anger suddenly feels excessive. She takes a deep breath and collects herself, her knotted expression softening.

“It’s alright.” She says. Diana looks up at her, gaze searching. “Sorry. That was a low blow. I shouldn’t get all pissed at you; I’m just kind of freaked out right now.”

Diana nods. “That’s completely understandable. And I’ll… I’ll try to consider my actions more carefully in the future.” There’s a long pause, both of them letting the moment sit and their feelings calm.

“Alright. If that’s all sorted, I’m gonna head out and hop on a broom, this place is too stuffy.” Amanda gets out of her seat and stretches her arms above her head, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh of relief.

“Actually,” Diana begins, “If you don’t mind, there’s something else.”

Amanda peeks one eye open. “What’s up?”

Diana bites her lip, looking off to the side for a moment before meeting Amanda’s eyes again.

“Perhaps this is presumptuous of me, but I think I may be able to help you.”

Amanda sits down slowly.

“While Akko’s enthusiasm was admirable, she clearly did not fully understand the nature of your distress.” Diana explains, reaching into her schoolbag to pull out a large book. “From what she described, it sounds like you are not entirely clear on why you feel that way either.”

“It’s really not encouraging to see you pull a textbook out of your bag, you know that?” Amanda deadpans. Diana’s movements pause for a moment, but she sets the book on the desk regardless.

“When I realized that I had feelings for Akko, that I was attracted to women, I wanted to learn more about the community I was going to be a part of. I did some research.”

“Research?”

“You are not the only one who struggles with feelings like these Amanda. If you like, I could teach you some of what I learned. You may find it useful in understanding your own frustrations.”

Amanda hesitates. She still feels uneasy around Diana. Even if their relationship is more amicable now than it used to be, they’re still at each others throats a lot. But Diana let Amanda see her vulnerable, even though Amanda has never been anything but sarcastic and mocking towards her. Diana apologized, and actually listened. Diana is trying to be genuine.

After a long moment of consideration, she speaks.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

And so, the two of them talk about it. Diana circles around the table and sits next to Amanda so they can both view the book at the same time. Diana explains a lot of things Amanda has never heard about before. Terms like transgender, and female-to-male, and dysphoria. Sometimes, when she’s explaining, Amanda will cut in with her own thoughts, pointing out things that she has felt in her own life. She tells Diana about how her escapades at Appleton made her start to question things.

This is a side of Diana that Amanda has never seen before. The two of them are there for hours, but they’re not fighting. Amanda gets frustrated and snippy at times, but Diana doesn’t bite back like she normally would. She is patient, and understanding, and Amanda isn’t quite sure how she feels about that. Isn’t Diana supposed to hate her? And yet here she is, spending her entire Friday afternoon with Amanda, helping her. Amanda finds herself more than a little bit freaked out by all the things she’s learning, and Diana’s calm demeanor helps keep her grounded.

It’s dark out when Diana finally closes the book.

“I think the two of us should probably go to the cafeteria before they stop serving dinner for the evening.” Diana explains. Amanda looks at the clock on the wall and is surprised to see that it’s almost eight thirty. Diana places the book back in her bag and the two of them stand up. She smooths out her skirt and pushes in her chair before walking to the exit of the little nook.

“Diana, wait.” Amanda says. Diana stops and turns to face her. Amanda fidgets nervously and looks away. “Look, I uh, I really appreciate you doing this for me. I think it helped a lot.” Diana gives her a small, pleased smile, and Amanda almost can’t believe her eyes. She’s not sure that she’s _ ever _ seen Diana smile before.

She has a very pretty smile.

“You’re welcome Amanda, I’m glad I was able to help.” Before Diana can turn away again, Amanda acts on impulse and steps forward, pulling Diana into a hug. Diana freezes for a moment, arms held at her side, before she returns it. When Amanda releases her, she steps back and clears her throat, a little awkward, but not uncomfortably so. She gestures towards the exit. “Shall we?”

* * *

Amanda lies back in her bunk, staring at the wooden slats of the top bunk above her, eyes unfocused. Jasminka’s gentle snores echo through the room. Constanze is still in her workshop, as usual. She thinks through everything she’s learned during the day.

It’s a lot to take in.

She’s uncertain. She’s scared. She’s anxious, about her future, and about what all of this could mean.

She thinks about her conversations these past two days. About Akko, all cheerful and enthusiastic and supportive. About Diana, so calm and patient and understanding, despite their differences in the past. A soft, warm feeling settles in her chest. She smiles. Her eyes close, and she nestles into her pillow to get comfortable.

Maybe she’s going to be okay.


	2. Breaking the Wall

“Are you sure you’re ready for this Amanda?” Diana asks as they walk into the storage shed where all of the school brooms are stored. It’s wide and narrow, but fairly large, given the number of students the school need brooms for, and the whole shed is made of rough, splintery wood. The back wall is lined with two rows of storage racks that hold each broom in place vertically, the second one stacked below the first and jutting out from the wall a little bit to make space. Amanda gives a cocky smirk and flips her wand in her hand, tracing a circle with the green glow of magic emanating from the tip.

“Of course I am.” They’ve spent weeks preparing for this, practicing in empty classrooms or in their dorms while their roommates are out. “After all, I’ve got a pretty good teacher,” she says to Diana with a wink. She centers herself, and flicks her wrist.

“Metamorphie Faciesse.” The sparkling magic circles around her body. To the unobservant, it might appear as though the spell had failed. Amanda still looks like Amanda. But while before the swell of her breasts had been visible through her uniform, now her chest is totally flat. She stows her wand and stretches, extending her arms high above her head, then bringing them down and cracking her neck.

“Metamorphie Faciesse!” an exuberant voice rings out. Diana and Amanda turn to see Akko standing there, with her head transformed into the head of a robin, complete with a beak and feathers. Amanda snorts with laughter, and Diana just sighs.

“Nice job Akko, I love the new look.” Amanda laughs. Akko has been tagging along with them during their training sessions, insistent that she wants to learn how to do it too. Akko reverses the spell, and when her head goes back to normal she crosses her arms over her chest and groans in frustration.

“I don’t understand!” she complains, “I’m usually really good at transformation magic! Why can’t I do this?”

“While it may sound counterintuitive, larger, more dramatic transformations are typically far easier than subtle alterations to one’s own appearance.” Diana explains.

“But Chariot managed to change the color of her hair and keep it that way for years!”

“Which speaks to her tremendous prowess as a witch.”

“C’mon Akko, we both know that you just wanna get good at this so you can have red hair like her.” Amanda teases.

“Hey! That’s not true!” Two pointed stares pin her down. After a moment, she blushes and averts her eyes, grumbling a quiet “Fine. Maybe.” under her breath.

“You’ll have to keep practicing if you want to be able to master these transformations, Akko. I believe you can do it, but it won’t be easy.”

“Yeah, well Amanda got it pretty quick.” Akko huffs.

“Which is very impressive, I might add.” Diana says, looking over at Amanda. A warm feeling spreads through Amanda’s chest, but she pointedly ignores it, leaning back against the wall with her arms crossed behind her head and her eyes closed.

“I’m always impressive.” she quips. Diana rolls her eyes, although Amanda doesn’t see it. She takes a deep breath in and out, getting a sense for the way her body feels with this transformation. Her shirt certainly feels less tight across the chest if nothing else. A broad grin stretches across her face. She’ll never get used to how much freer she feels like this, with a literal weight off her chest.

“Alright, Blytonbury better be ready for the new and improved Amanda O’Neill.” After Diana and Amanda’s initial discussion, Diana had proposed an idea. She would help Amanda learn how to perfect the transformation, and then they would spend a day out somewhere that was public, but away from the school and people who might recognize her, to try out the look and see how it makes her feel. “Although honestly I doubt they’ll notice the difference. It’s not like I’ve ever been that well-endowed. I like how it feels, but everyone in town is still just gonna look at me and think ‘girl’.”

“Perhaps, but if you wish to experiment, this is a good place to start. Trust me, this is far harder for those who do not have magic to help them.”

Amanda shrugs.

“Alright, well I’ve gotta go, you two have fun!” Akko chirps, stepping forward and pecking a kiss on Diana’s cheek before running off back towards the school. Diana stares at her as she goes, a far-off expression in her eyes and a faint blush on her face.

“Come on lesbian wonder, stop fantasizing about your girlfriend and let’s go.” Amanda snickers, and Diana blinks her eyes, coming back to the present with a sheepish cough. They both grab their brooms off the racks. Diana starts to walk back towards the door, but Amanda skips that step entirely, shouting out the spell so that her broom starts pulling her forward before she’s even on top of it, zipping out the door. She rockets forward and pulls a few loops and spins, wind rushing through her hair as she enjoys getting back in the air for the first time this week. Diana sighs heavily and shakes her head. She doesn’t rush to join her, just walks her broom outside and straddles it before taking off and making her way over at a leisurely clip. Amanda pulls up to a halt next to Diana after circling around her a few times. Her hair is already windblown and a beaming smile decorates her face.

“Let’s hit the town.”

* * *

The journey downtown is not especially long, and after renting a locker at the Last Wednesday Society so they can drop their brooms off for the afternoon, they start exploring. They start off at a candy shop that Amanda insists on going to, despite Diana’s protests that she really shouldn’t eat such unhealthy food. She strolls down the aisle, surrounded by the vibrant colors of the store. One side is lined with a row of jellybean dispensers, each one holding a different flavor, creating a rainbow of color all the way across the wall. Diana picks out one candy bar for herself, and then simply follows behind Amanda the rest of the time, watching her childlike glee with a bemused smile.

Amanda is being even more exuberant and expressive than normal. The other shoppers mill about, and none of them know about her little experiment. While she’s never particularly minded breaking the rules before, there’s something about this that feels like she’s getting away with something, like she’s pulling one over on them, and it gives her a rush of heady energy.

After the two of them leave, they decide to head over towards a peaceful little park on the other side of downtown Blytonbury, before grabbing lunch at a cafe they both like. Amanda immediately starts to gorge herself on her spoils from the candy store.

“Really Amanda,” Diana sniffs, “must you insist on tearing into them while we walk? You’re getting chocolate all over your fingers, it’s disgusting.”

“Oh I must, I must.” Amanda says, her voice coming out a bit garbled around the chocolate in her mouth. “Why do you even care, it’s not like it’s on your fingers.”

“Even so.”

Amanda swallows and then sucks the chocolate off of each of her fingertips, one by one. Diana’s face contorts. When she’s finished, Amanda holds up both of her open palms and wiggles her fingers.

“Look, all clean.” Amanda grins.

“I can’t believe I’ve willingly chosen to associate with someone as crude as yourself.”

Amanda rolls her eyes.

“Whatever. I’m feeling awesome, not even your usual prissiness can get me down today.”

“Prissy?” Diana huffs, “I-”

“Oh, wait, I’ve got an idea!” Amanda cuts her off, “When I was disguising myself over at Appleton, one of the things I changed was my hairstyle. I had it all slicked back and cool. I should do that too!”

Diana opens her mouth to say something, then closes it. She lets out a heavy exhale.

“I really think you should stick to one change at a time. It will be harder to tell how each individual change makes you feel if you’re doing several of them at once.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like changing my hairstyle is that big of a difference. And besides, it already feels like I don’t look that different. Nobody here is going to notice that my chest is flatter than usual, I want to actually look more like a guy.”

Diana turns her head to face straight ahead, not looking at Amanda, before declaring in a haughty tone, “Well I’ve told you what I think. Whether you choose to heed my advice is your decision.”

“Yeah, it is, and I choose to actually make some progress today.”

She waits until the two of them are on a relatively empty side street before casting the spell. It isn’t the more difficult physical transformation spell, but the simpler _ Metamorphie Vestesse _, since she’s not actually changing her hair, just altering how it’s styled. When the sheen of magic fades from the air, she’s left with the same slicked-back hairstyle she used before. She runs her fingers through it and lets out a deep sigh.

“Yeah. That’s hot.” Amanda says, drawing a chuckle from Diana.

“It suits you well.” She relents.

“Ah, so you agree? You think that I look hot?” Amanda teases, with a cheeky grin.

Diana gives her a lingering look, but turns her head to face forward before she speaks with a tiny, mischievous smile.

“Perhaps I do.”

Amanda gasps and places her splayed-out palm on the center of her chest.

“Was that… flirting? Did _ the _ Diana Cavendish just flirt with me?”

“Perish the thought.”

“I didn’t even know you were capable of flirting. I thought that having fun wasn’t allowed when you’re a fancy-pants aristocrat.”

For a moment, Diana’s posture hardens. Only slightly. But then it softens again. She meets Amanda’s eyes with a warm look that Amanda can’t quite decipher.

“And I thought that being witty wasn’t allowed when you’re a foul-mouthed American, so I suppose we’re both full of surprises.”

Amanda laughs and smiles broadly.

“I suppose we are.”

The conversation ends there, but Amanda wishes it would keep going. She’s still not entirely sure if the two of them are friends or not. Their practice sessions were more akin to studying than spending time with a friend, but they’re certainly closer now than they ever were before. There has always been a wall between them, even after the missile crisis. They make an effort to get along for their friends’ sakes, but they’ve never connected. They’ve never been comfortable around one another.

And yet…

There are moments like this, where being around Diana _ is _ comfortable. Where they’re not arguing, and for once it’s not because Amanda is holding herself back. She has no idea where these moments come from, but she finds herself hoping for more of them. It’s nice. Surprisingly so. Yet she can’t put her finger on why it isn’t like this all the time, on why they don’t connect when they’re clearly capable of it. There’s still a barrier between them, and she isn’t sure what it is.

She shakes her head and focuses on where they’re walking. She’s overthinking this, she knows it, and that has never been her style.

Two sets of footsteps echo in tandem on the pavement as they enjoy the weather in silence.

* * *

Amanda is talking too much, and she knows it. She can’t help it, honestly. It’s strange how two fairly minor changes to her appearance can fill her with so much excitable energy, but they do. It’s enough to immerse herself in the fantasy that she looks the way she wants to look, that she is the person she wants to be. The energy has to go somewhere, so it flows out of her in a stream of words. Diana isn’t saying much, but then again, she’s never been someone Amanda would describe as _ chatty. _ Normally she might feel a little awkward about it, but those feelings are pushed aside by the bubbling giddiness that fills her body and flows through her limbs like electricity.

They’re in the middle of the park they had been heading towards, and Diana is sitting on the bench, enjoying the scenery. A little pond with a gurgling fountain in the middle lies in front of them, on the other side of the walking path that circles it. Behind them is a row of carefully trimmed hedges, and behind those, a few tall trees, leaves rustling in the gentle breeze.

Amanda is not sitting next to her. She’s pacing around as she talks, circling about the bench in no particular pattern. Diana watches her as she walks back and forth, not adding her own words to the conversation, but still clearly paying attention. Her face is unreadable, as it often is, and Amanda can’t tell if Diana is amused by her talkativeness, or annoyed by it. When Amanda ends the story she’s telling, Diana finally cuts in.

“It seems like you’re feeling good about this whole experiment so far.”

“Hell yeah,” Amanda grins, “I feel like I could kick the whole world’s ass right now.” She playfully shadowboxes, bouncing back and forth on the balls of her feet and throwing quick jabs forward, adding exaggerated noises of exertion behind each punch. Diana raises a brow at her antics.

“I think my plan to sit and relax in the park was a futile one, given my present company.”

Amanda looks around for a second, and sees that there’s no one nearby.

“You know what? I want to try something.”

“It’s strange, every time you say those words I experience a powerful sense of foreboding.”

“Metamorphie Vestesse!”

Amanda isn’t wearing the suit this time, opting instead for a more casual outfit, with skinny jeans, a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone, and a silver wristwatch. Combined with her slicked-back hair and her flat chest, it leaves her looking like a whole new person.

Diana sucks in a breath, then sighs and shakes her head.

“Oh yeah, that’s way better.” Amanda looks down at herself, getting a sense for how she looks in the new outfit.

“Amanda, the plan was to take things one step at a time.”

“You’re the one who said that, not me.”

“Yes, and I said it for a reason, despite your continued insistence on refusing to listen to anything I say.”

Amanda scowls.

“I never asked you to tell me what to do.”

“Was it not your idea for me to join you on this excursion in the first place?” Diana stands up to meet Amanda at eye level.

“Yeah, but not so you could try to boss me around the whole time!”

“I am hardly-” Diana cuts herself off for a moment, exhaling heavily, “I’m simply trying to provide some advice.”

“Well don’t.” Those words cuts through the rising volume of their voices, and the air seems far too quiet after they finish ringing out. The two of them stand there staring at each in the heavy silence. Diana opens her mouth to speak, thinks better of it, then purses her lips together into a thin, hard line. After a long moment, Amanda sighs and breaks her gaze away. “Look, let’s just head over to the cafe and get some lunch, alright?”

“You phrase that like a question. I thought my input wasn’t wanted?” Diana deadpans, walking towards the exit of the park without waiting for a response. Amanda stands there for a second, debates whether it’s worth it to shoot something equally snippy back, then groans quietly and follows after her.

* * *

Amanda feels amazing. That’s the only way she can describe it. She feels hyperaware of everything around her, like she can notice every single person who looks at her as they pass by. Are they staring more than usual? It feels like it. But that’s okay; she wants them to look. She wants them to see her like this, to finally see her the way she wants to be seen. She wants them to look at her and have no idea that she isn’t just an average man, going about his day. The awareness is a little distracting, and she tries to make sure she pays attention to what Diana is saying.

Diana had been a little frosty on the walk over, but the tension has calmed somewhat, and the two of them are chatting amicably, although there’s a noticeable sense of awkwardness layered on top that wasn’t there before.They’re sitting at one of the tables on the patio out front of the cafe, waiting for their food to be brought out. It’s not a large place, but the atmosphere is warm and cozy, and the weather outside is lovely. The front of the cafe is a set of wide glass folding doors, kept open to let the patio seating join seamlessly with the inside. The place is somewhat crowded, filling the air around them with a low buzz of conversation in the background. Diana sips at a cup of tea, while Amanda has already gone through her glass of coke.

Diana is in the middle of telling the story of the first time Akko met her aunt and her cousins, finishing off with a shake of her head. “I swear, sometimes it baffles me that I ended up with someone like Akko.”

“You’re not the only one. I think that came out of left field for most of us. Well… at least you liking her back did. I’m pretty sure we could all see Akko’s massive gay crush from a mile away.”

“She is a woman of many talents, but subtlety cannot be counted among them.”

Amanda’s leg is bouncing incessantly, and she fiddles with her fork, unconsciously trying to occupy her hands.

“Yeah, it was pretty obvious that she was a big ‘ol lesbian, but I never would have pegged you as one.”

“I’m bisexual, actually.”

“Same idea,” Amanda says, gesturing vaguely at nothing, “a connoisseur of the finer sex.”

“And what about you?”

Amanda gives her a predatory grin. “Oh, Diana. You know I’m all about the ladies, and the ladies are all about me.”

Diana rolls her eyes. “I’m sure they are.”

“It’s true! You got yourself a bonafide ladykiller over here.”

“You seem even more overconfident than usual today.”

“It’s the best kind of confident to be.” Amanda winks, then leans back in her chair, arms crossed behind her head. “Besides, I’ve got a reason to be confident today. I’m feeling awesome, I’m feeling like the manliest man who ever manned, and anyone who doesn’t like it can fuck off. In fact, I can think of a select few people who are _ definitely _ not going to like it, and they can double extra fuck off.”

Diana pauses for a moment before she responds, speaking in a careful tone.

“Who is it that you’re expecting to have an issue?”

“My parents. They already threw a hissy fit over the whole lesbian thing, so, y’know…”

“I’m sorry to hear that Amanda.”

Amanda shrugs, still leaning back so her head is turned toward the ceiling, hiding her face from Diana.

“It’s whatever. Parents suck, what else is new?” Diana tenses, but doesn’t say anything in response. “I’m guessing you probably had to deal with a lot of that crap too when you came out as bi, didn’t you? Given, y’know, the whole stuffy traditionalists thing.”

“I’d rather not talk about that.” Diana says.

“Or wait, did you come out to them about you and Akko being poly? Because god, I’m guessing that would go over even _ less _ well.”

“I said I’d rather not talk about that.” Diana says, more firmly this time.

Amanda tilts her head down and sees the seriousness on Diana’s face. With a shift of her weight she brings the chair forward so it’s no longer leaning on only the back legs, the front ones hitting the floor with an audible _ clack. _

“Sorry. My bad.” Amanda says at length, averting her eyes and scratching at the nape of her neck sheepishly. She curses inwardly. If only she could stop running her damn mouth, maybe she wouldn’t keep putting her foot in it all the time. But she’s having a very hard time stopping her words today. Somehow, even the kinds of slip-ups that would normally make her self-conscious aren’t having the same effect right now. The giddy, excited energy that has pervaded her body all day is still there, and nothing seems to be able to dent it. It’s like the negative feelings are drowned out. It’s an odd experience; she’s aware that it _ should _ make her feel bad, but the expected emotion just isn’t there.

The conversation continues on after the waiter brings out their food, but it’s stilted and awkward, and after a few minutes she excuses herself to go to the restroom, silently thanking the nine that they’re single occupancy, and not gendered. Her leg bounces and fidgets relentlessly, even as she’s trying to use the toilet. She adjusts the water from the sink until it's refreshingly cool, then splashes her face before grabbing a paper towel and drying off.

When she looks up, she freezes. The mirror had gone unnoticed by her distracted mind when she first walked in, but now she gets to find out what she actually looks like to an outside observer.

Amanda has always been slender, but she looks even more so when not hampered by the rumpled fabric of her slightly-too-large Luna Nova uniform. The button-up shirt hugs her torso closely, but doesn’t cut inward around the waist like a women’s shirt would, fitting her more loosely towards the bottom and hiding some of her curves. Without her breasts getting in the way, the lines of her upper body look neat and crisp. Her slicked-back hair frames her face differently than her usual style in a way that she can’t quite place. All the little differences add up to make the figure in the mirror look far more masculine than she had expected.

That’s her.

By the nine, that’s _ her. _

Her throat is choked, hands trembling, legs frozen stiff. It’s just so _ much, _ it overwhelms her. She can’t believe how good she looks. How _ right _ she looks. It isn’t perfect, her face is still too soft, her hips still a little too wide, but it’s so much more than she expected. Enough that while she might not get read as obviously male, but she definitely won’t get read as obviously female either.

She laughs shakily, the noise dragging out from deep in her throat without conscious thought or permission. Bright green eyes blur with water, not quite crying, but halfway there. A gasping breath escapes her as her mind snaps back into focus. She carefully blots the tears from her eyes - she can’t start crying, not here, not when there’s so many people out there, not when _ Diana _ is out there.

Breathe in, breathe out, slowly, calm your nerves, quiet your shaking hands, steady yourself.

With one more purposeful exhale, she steels her gaze, nodding at the reflection in the mirror before opening the door and stepping back outside.

The cafe had seemed a little loud before, given that it’s fairly crowded, but now it seems even more so, the dull hum of a dozen overlapping conversations sharp and piercing in her ears, jangling her nerves. Threading her way between the tables, she makes her way back over towards Diana. An accidental bump of her hip against a chair makes her wince and tense up, suddenly far more aware of her movements.

When she gets back to their table she drops into her chair, quick and ungraceful, and shoots Diana a cocky smirk.

“I saw myself in the mirror, and I gotta say, I look sexy as hell like this.”

“I’m glad that you’re happy with your appearance.” Diana replies with a polite smile. Amanda’s leg begins bouncing again within moments of sitting down, and it’s starting to feel uncomfortable. Without even noticing, her hands start fidgeting.

“Yeah, it looks like today has been an unqualified success, despite your usual pestering.”

Diana stills, head tilted downward, looking at her food. After a moment, she lifts her head to meet Amanda’s eyes, neatly setting her knife and fork back in their places. Her glare is as sharp and cold as Amanda has ever seen it.

“Why do you feel the need to insist on being insulting and rude in every interaction you have? Is that how you express happiness - by trying to bring everyone else down? Or are you simply incapable of treating others with respect?”

Amanda rolls her eyes. The burning energy that fills her body intensifies even more, and what previously felt like excitement has become something entirely different, hot and leaden and sickening. It takes entirely too much effort to prevent her voice from quavering, but she mostly succeeds.

“It’s called sarcasm, princess.”

“Well I don’t find it particularly funny.” Diana snaps at her, forceful and steely.

“Why are you always like this? Today was supposed to be fun! I wanted to try something new and enjoy myself, but you always insist on holding everyone else back, on bringing everyone else down. Why are you even here if that’s all you’re going to do?”

“Amanda, lower your voice, you’re causing a scene.” Diana hisses. Amanda hadn’t even realized she was raising her voice. The people at the tables around them are glancing over to see what’s going on. She can’t seem to shut off her awareness of them.They’re all looking at her, aren’t they? Every noise and every gaze pierces through her, and the giddiness she felt before has careened over into a clenching knot of nausea in her gut and a ballooning pressure in her chest, and she’s pretty sure Diana is saying something but she can’t make out the words. She presses the heels of her hands over her eyes and tries unsuccessfully to calm her increasingly panicked breaths. Diana’s voice is in her ears, but it’s muffled and distant, as if they’re underwater.

“Amanda!” The word cuts through, along with Diana’s hand grabbing tightly onto her shoulder. “Amanda, are you alright?”

Amanda pulls her head up to see the concerned expression on Diana’s face. Then her eyes shift their focus, and the queasy feeling in her stomach intensifies because now _ everyone _ is staring at her. She can’t do this, she can’t do this, this is too much, she needs them to stop, she needs everything to stop.

“Don’t touch me.” She snaps at Diana, jerking out of her grip, then pushes her chair back with a loud scrape against the floor, stands up, and storms away from the table, back out onto the sidewalk, and down the street.

Diana calls out after her. She stands up and almost starts following her, before turning and looking back towards the inside of the cafe and swearing under her breath. She digs into her pockets and pulls out her wallet as quickly as she can. She tosses some money on the table - probably much more than their meal would have actually cost, but she can’t be bothered to stop and count. She runs out after Amanda, but it’s enough of a delay that the other girl has gotten away from her, and out of sight. With one more deep breath to center herself, she sets off down the street to try to find her.

* * *

  
  


Amanda makes it all the way back to Luna Nova before Diana manages to catch up with her. She hooks her broom back on the rack in the storage shed, slamming it in place violently for lack of a better outlet for her frustration. Diana pushes through the door, looking windswept and a little out of breath.

“Amanda! Are you alright?” 

Amanda grits her teeth.

“Piss off. I don’t want you here.” she seethes. She strides towards the door, intending to push past Diana and go back to her dorm so she can be alone, but Diana pushes the door shut behind her and stands in front of it, blocking her way with a determined gaze.

“Don’t push me out Amanda. The entire reason I came with you today is because I want to help, but I can’t do that if you won’t allow me to.”

“Why are you doing this?” Amanda demands, “Why do you even care? We’re not friends!”

Diana’s eyes go wide. A host of emotions passes through her face, too fast for Amanda to parse. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, then lets out a long exhale. When she speaks, her voice is soft and quiet.

“Why would that make any difference?”

Amanda deflates.

Diana moves to the side so she’s no longer blocking the doorway. Amanda steps forward and grasps the doorknob, but doesn’t open it, standing motionless.

“I just…” she starts, then cuts herself off with a sigh. She turns around so her back is against the door and slides down the wall until she’s sitting on the ground, knees tucked into her chest and arms wrapped around her shins. The transformation spell fades as she lets go of the thread of power keeping it active, reverting back to her Luna Nova uniform and her normal appearance. Diana looks at her for a moment, then joins her on the floor, slowly sitting down, back against the wall, their shoulders a few inches apart.

The two of them sit there silently for a minute, Amanda’s face hidden, buried in her knees. When she finally lifts it back up, it is streaked with tears.

“I-” she starts, but the words choke in her throat. The dam breaks, and she begins full-on sobbing, placing her forehead back down against her knees, shoulders heaving and shaking.

“Why can’t I just do this?” she gasps out between sobs, voice watery and shaking. “This was what I wanted! This was supposed to make me feel better!”

Diana reaches out a hand to clasp on Amanda’s shoulder, but hesitates before it lands. Her teeth catch her lower lip. Instead of grabbing the shoulder closest to her, she reaches her arm out around Amanda’s shoulders, not actually touching her, but hovering a few inches above in a clear invitation. Amanda’s eyes flick over to see what Diana is doing, and after a moment of deliberation, she leans in to Diana’s side, placing her head on Diana’s shoulder and letting her put her hand on her arm and pull her in closer.

Diana is clearly unused to this kind of physical comforting, her body stiff and awkward, her grip too loose and careful, but it’s enough. Amanda leans against her, burying her face in the fabric of her uniform, little splotches of wetness forming where the tears soak in.

“Maybe this just isn’t for me.”

“Don’t think like that. You simply became overwhelmed. That is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It is when it makes you act like a complete ass.” Amanda mumbles into Diana’s shoulder.

“You certainly did,” Diana replies, pressing a wry smile to the top of Amanda’s head, “but I forgive you.”

Amanda’s head is feeling increasingly fuzzy. Her thoughts keeps circling around one particular interaction, niggling at her mind like a splinter.

“I’m sorry I called you princess. I know it bothers you when I do that.”

Diana doesn’t say anything, just nods and squeezes Amanda’s arm a little tighter for a moment.

The two of them stay like that for a while, Amanda curled up into Diana’s side, sniffling occasionally. Eventually her tears subside, and her mind calms, but she doesn’t move right away, enjoying the closeness. The flood of emotions throughout the day has left her body feeling drained and hollow and her mind quiet and hazy.

She isn’t sure how long the two of them are sitting there, but when she feels ready, she slowly pulls away and sits up straight. She rolls her shoulders and cracks her neck to relieve some of the stiffness, then turns to look at Diana.

“About what you said before-” Diana begins, then pauses for a second, biting her lip as she searches for the right words. “Maybe you were right. Maybe we aren’t friends, but… I would like to be.”

Amanda’s eyes, puffy and red from tears, meet Diana’s.

“Me too.”

Diana’s lips curl upward, ever so slightly, and she nods.

“Well then,” she begins, getting up to her feet and holding out her hand to help Amanda up, “I don’t know about you, but I think a cup of tea would be lovely right about now. I’m going to return to my room and prepare some, perhaps you could join me?”

A soft smile spreads across Amanda’s face.

“As long as you don’t mind me not knowing anything about tea.”

Diana scoffs, “Please, I’m British, it’s my patriotic duty to teach an uncultured American such as yourself some class.” Amanda chuckles, voice hoarse and a still a little bit watery. She reaches out and takes the offered hand, letting Diana help her up to her feet.

“Well then Cavendish, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Monday, December 9th.


	3. Comfort

Amanda O’Neill is bored. It’s Thursday night, and there’s an exam for the astrology class she shares with Constanze and Jasminka tomorrow, which means they’re both squirreled away in the library studying. Amanda should probably also be doing that, but she’s very dedicated to being a bad student, so she isn’t. She thought about hanging out with Akko or Diana, but tonight is their weekly movie night together, so they’re busy. Plus it’s absolutely miserable outside, cold and rainy and grey, so flying isn’t an option. She wondered for a while if it was worth seeing what Lotte or Sucy were up to, but Lotte is spending time with Hannah and Barbara, and Amanda would rather pull teeth than spend time with the wannabe mean girls duo, even if they have mellowed out considerably since the missile crisis. And Sucy is… Sucy.

So she’s bored.

Currently she’s lying on her bed with a small stack of index cards next to her and a rubber band in her hand. She discovered that a folded-up index card can be fired from a pulled-back rubber band like a slingshot, so she set up a few knicknacks on her desk across the room to act as targets. She’s been lazily taking shots at them every once in a while, barely raising her head off the pillow to aim, but mostly, she’s just lying there.

There’s a knock on the door, and before Amanda can respond, it opens and Akko walks in.

“Hey Amanda.” she beams.

“What’s up? You here to pick up Conz’s projector?”

“Yep.” Akko replies, opening up the closet and digging around to find it. She pulls it out, hefting it up in both arms. Amanda stretches back her rubber band and takes aim at a pen she left standing up on her desk. “Hey, are you busy right now?”

Amanda lets the rubber band go, launching the folded index card, which completely misses the pen and skips off the surface of her desk, bouncing off the wall and falling behind it. She turns to Akko and raises an eyebrow, gesturing vaguely at herself and at her desk with one hand.

“Then you should join us for movie night!”

Amanda opens her mouth and closes it a few times.

“I dunno Akko, isn’t this, like, your couple thing you two do together each week? I don’t want to butt in on your thing.”

“You wouldn’t be butting in.”

“But hasn’t Diana been busy as hell lately? You need your time together.”

“Well yeah, of course she’s been busy, that’s why she said we should invite you, she’s been wanting to hang out with you.”

Amanda pauses. “It was Diana’s idea?”

Akko nods.

“Well… yeah, alright, that sounds cool.” Amanda swings her legs over the edge of her bunk bed and hops off, joining Akko as the two of them walk out of the room. She buries her hands in her pockets and only half listens to Akko talking as they make their way over to the blue team dorm.

Diana’s room is dimly lit by a single magical candle, and with the gloomy weather outside, it makes the room feel dark and cozy. Diana herself is sitting at her desk, poring over a book. She’s wearing pajamas, and brushing her hand through her hair absentmindedly. She glances up at them when they walk in, and when she sees Amanda, she perks up.

“Amanda! I’m so glad you could join us.”

“Of course. Seeing you relax is a rare enough, I figured I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to witness it.”

Diana shoots her a look that manages to be simultaneously exasperated and fond.

“Cheeky.” she mutters.

“Alright, put the book down!” Akko demands, “Study time is over, it’s movie time now.”

“So it is.” Diana marks her place with a ribbon bookmark, folds the book shut, and carefully sets it back in its place on her bookshelf. Amanda drops down onto the couch as Akko plants the projector onto the coffee table and starts setting it up. Diana walks over towards the couch, but Akko stops her as she walks past, tugging on her sleeve and leaning up from her tinkering to peck a kiss on her lips. Akko tries to continue the kiss, but Diana stops her with a hand planted on her sternum.

“At least wait until we’ve started the movie, you minx.” She smirks, pointedly ignoring Akko’s pout. Amanda raises an eyebrow. Diana sits down next to Amanda, and upon seeing the expression on her face, seems to realize that she wasn’t alone when she said that. A faint blush tints her cheeks. Amanda, for once in her life, decides to spare her the embarrassment, and doesn’t comment on it. 

“Studying for the test tomorrow?” she asks.

“Please,” Diana scoffs, “I had everything memorized a week ago. No, I’m working on some business for my family.”

“What?”

Diana sighs, “Every year, my family and the Hanbridge family work together to host a formal dance. It’s being held at their estate this year, but even so, there’s much planning and organizing that needs to be done.”

“Hanbridge? Like, Andrew Hanbridge?”

Diana gives a distracted hum, and doesn’t offer up any more information. The trio are quiet as Akko works at getting the projector set up, and the silence gives Amanda a chance to gather herself. She works up her courage and says something that has been on her mind for days.

“So, I had an idea.” She begins at length. Diana and Akko both look over at her expectantly when she doesn’t continue. “Maybe… maybe when it’s just the three of us I can be in boymode? I don’t think I would get freaked out like I did the other day as long as I’m only around friends.”

“Yeah!” Akko exclaims, her face lighting up.

“I think that sounds like an excellent idea.” Diana says.

Amanda takes a deep breath.

“Alright then. Here goes nothing.” she says, pulling out her wand and casting the transformation spell. She sticks to something more comfortable than the previous outfits she tried - just a pair of black jeans and a baggy band t-shirt. With another whirl of magic, she transforms her body as well, leaving her chest flat.

“You look punk.” Akko says, with a huge grin on her face.

“You look handsome.” Diana supplies.

Amanda smiles at them nervously. Akko leans down and flicks on switch on the projector, which flickers to life.

“Alright, got it.” she says, with a satisfied nod, “Diana, it’s your turn to pick the movie this week, right?”

“Well, given that we have a special guest with us, why don’t we let her pick?”

Amanda grins, “Oh that’s a dangerous idea, you know that?”

“Nevertheless,” Diana says, gesturing to her.

“You’re going to get a proper education in American culture, Cavendish.”

“It feels weird to call you she and her when you’re like this,” Akko interjects.

“Oh, yeah, I was actually about to mention that. As long as it’s just us, I want you to call me a guy.” Amanda says. The other two nod, and Akko gives him a thumbs up. “And… and I think I’ve got a name picked out.”

Diana brightens, “Is that so? I’ve been eager to find out what you were going to pick, what is it?”

Amanda scratches the back of his neck and looks off to the side. “Well I had to think about it for a while. I knew that I wanted to pick out an Irish name, but I didn’t find one that fit right away.”

Akko gets a faraway look in her eyes.

“Neil.” she deadpans.

Amanda and Diana both turn and stare at her for a long moment. None of them speak, until Amanda cuts in,

“Okay yeah, I changed my mind, I’m definitely going with that.”

“Absolutely not!” Diana sputters, aghast. Akko bursts into laughter, and Amanda’s face is plastered with a shit-eating grin.

“You can’t tell me what to do, it’s _ my _ name.”

“I swear by the nine, if you change your name to Neil O’Neill I will personally ensure that you get detention every weekend from now until the day you graduate.” Diana insists, glaring at him.

“Fiiiiiiine,” Amanda groans, rolling his eyes, “I guess I’ll have to stick to my original plan then.”

“Which is?”

“Riley.”

Diana smiles, “I think that's a lovely name. So, Riley, would you like to pick out a movie?”

* * *

  
  


They’re almost at the end of the movie by the time Riley realizes that Diana has fallen asleep. Riley is on one end of the couch, and Akko is on the other end with Diana sitting sideways in her lap, head resting in the crook of Akko’s neck as Akko holds her in her arms. Akko’s hand absentmindedly traces soothing circles on Diana’s back, her head leaning to the side, resting on top of Diana’s.

“Well aren’t you two cute, all cuddled up together?” Riley teases, drawing Akko’s attention. Akko smiles and pecks a kiss on the top of Diana’s head.

“She works too hard, so this happens a lot. But I like it.”

“I’m kind of surprised, she’s never seemed like the touchy-feely type to me.”

Akko brushes Diana’s hair back behind her ear. “She’s really different when it’s just us. There’s always so much attention on her when she’s around other people, and they all expect her to be a certain way. It’s hard for her to be herself.”

Riley hums and looks away, chewing on his lip.

“I think she’s trying to get better at being herself around you.” Akko murmurs. Riley looks back at her with raised eyebrows.

“Really?”

A big smile stretches across Akko’s face. “Yeah! She really likes you, you know that?”

“I… I really like her too. I didn’t expect to, but I guess she surprised me.”

Akko giggles, “Yeah, she does that.”

Riley snorts, “God, yeah, sometimes I forget how much you two pissed each other off at first.” He twines his fingers together, fidgeting. When he speaks again, his voice is tentative. “What changed your mind about her?”

Akko lifts her head up and looks over. She furrows her brow and bites her lip for a moment as she thinks.

“I saw how hard she has to try.” she begins at length. “I always thought she was just some stuck up brat, and it made me mad, because everything seemed to be so _ easy _ for her. She could do magic effortlessly, and I couldn’t even fly. But the thing is, it _ isn’t _ easy for her.” She pauses for a moment. “Did you know that she couldn’t do magic at all as a kid?”

“Wait, really?”

“Mhm. We both had our magic drained from us as kids. That’s why I couldn’t do magic at all when I got here. The only difference is that she was able to start practicing earlier than me. When I’m around her, it reminds me that I can be just as good as she is some day, as long as I never give up.” Akko looks down at her lovingly, hand still carding gently through her hair. “You know I still love Chariot, but after everything, she's not really my hero anymore. Diana is."

An unnameable feeling sweeps through Riley. It is a wave of something like longing, and yet, it isn't painful. It isn't jealous. It is warm and calming, something happy and fond and bittersweet. He swallows thickly and looks down, unable to meet Akko's gaze.

Riley is shaken from his thoughts by Akko's voice, quiet and gentle, "What about you?" He looks up at her, confused. "What changed _ your _ mind about her?"

He opens his mouth and closes it, bites his lip and looks off to the side, eyes fixed on the movie without actually seeing it. He fidgets his hands together and mumbles sheepishly. 

"I dunno man, I can't think of anything all eloquent like that."

Akko laughs at him, not unkindly, "That's okay, you haven't had a bunch of time to think about this like I have."

It takes a while for Riley to respond, and when he does, it's quiet and unsure.

"She just, she's been really kind to me, and she didn't have to be. I've been kind of a dick to her, but she wanted to help me out anyway. I think that says a lot about her. I don't know."

Akko nods and lets out a sigh that sounds almost relieved, as if an unspoken question has been lifted from her chest. The two of them go back to watching the movie in silence. It ends only a few minutes later, and Akko switches the projector off. It leaves the room in a deafening silence.

"Hey," Riley says at length, "all that stuff I was saying, that, uh, that goes for you too, you know that right?"

Akko cocks her head to the side quizzically.

"You've - you've been really cool about all this," he gestures at his transformed appearance, "I really appreciate it."

A beaming grin spreads across her face. "Of course. You're my best friend, Riley."

The name takes Riley by surprise. Of course, Diana had said it aloud before, but he had been actively talking about it at that point, and it just felt expected. But now, in the middle of an unrelated conversation, it catches him completely off guard. A giddy smile spreads across his face. His mind and heart are both racing.

That's his name. 

_ That's his name. _

He manages to keep it together long enough to say goodnight to Akko and leave the room, but the moment he's out in the hallway he raises a hand over his mouth, as if to contain his smile, and tears spring from his eyes.

_ That's his name. _

* * *

  
  


Riley strides through the doors of Luna Nova’s library with purpose. He walks past all the tables in the main study area, all the way over to a jumble of bookshelves towards the far wall. Slipping between the shelves, he finds his way into the small nook in the back corner. There, he finds Diana sitting at the reading table, a thick, dense-looking textbook spread out in front of her.

She looks _ tired. _

Her normally perfect posture is hunched over. Her hair, usually so lustrous and flowing, is pulled back into a messy ponytail. There are dark circles under her eyes, and that sharp, piercing gleam she always has in her stare is dulled and foggy. She doesn’t notice Riley walk in, too absorbed in her studies, so he sneaks up behind her, resting his forearms on the back of her chair and leaning over her.

“God, that looks so booooring.” he drawls. She jumps and lets out an undignified squeak. “Ooh, that was a cute noise.”

“Amanda!” Diana admonishes, sticking to Riley’s old name while they’re in public, “Don’t startle me like that!”

“Why? It’s fun.” Riley replies, circling around to Diana’s side, planting one hand firmly on the table, and leaning his weight on it.

Diana sighs, “Do you need anything?”

“Yeah, it’s a lovely Sunday afternoon, and I’m going to go outside and laze about in the sun. You should come with me.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you, but as you can see, I’m rather busy at the moment.” Diana gestures at the book in front of her, "Perhaps another time.”

“Come onnnnnn,” Riley rolls his eyes, “You’ve barely done anything but study for like two weeks now. You need a break.”

“I can take a break when the work is done.” Diana dismisses, keeping her eyes focused on the page of her book.

“That’s not how breaks work, Cavendish. C’mon, you’ll focus better if you let your mind relax for a bit.”

“Hmm.”

Riley’s eyes narrow and he stands up straight, lips twisted to the side in thought. Then, without another word, he reaches forward and grabs Diana’s textbook, snapping it shut and holding it behind his back.

“Amanda!” Diana protests, almost shouting, before lowering her voice back down to a library volume. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making an executive decision, you’re not allowed to have this book until you’ve taken a break.”

“Give that back!” Diana seethes, snatching at it, but Riley dodges away, walking backwards towards the exit of the nook.

“Nope! There’s an excellent tree just outside the tower that’s perfect for napping under, maybe if you come with me you can get your book back.” With that, Riley walks away, holding the book secure against his chest and striding confidently towards the doors of the library. It only takes a few seconds before he hears some frustrated grumbling, and then the sound of Diana’s footsteps following him.

The two of them make their way through the halls and outside, where they follow the outer wall around towards Luna Nova tower. It is a peaceful, sunny day, the breeze whispering softly through the trees nearby. As they come around to the side of the tower, one tree in particular stands out. Around the tower is a wide field of grass separating it from the treeline of the woods, but there is one tree that stands right next to the tower. That’s where Riley leads them, determinedly ignoring Diana’s occasional grumbling. As they reach the side of the tree that isn't in the shade, he turns and smoothly drops down to a sitting position before lying back, eyes closed, arms folded behind his head, one leg crossed over the other as he lounges.

“Here we are, milady.” He pats the patch of grass next to him. Diana stares at him for a moment, then sighs, and sits cross-legged by his side. She looks around for a moment, and sees that no one else is nearby.

“You’re being awfully insistent today Riley, what’s the purpose of this?”

“I needed a nap partner. It’s tough work, you know. Didn’t think I could go it alone.”

“You have a lot of practice with pretending you don’t care, but I’m not a fool. Tell me the truth.”

Riley opens one eye and looks at her. Her face is flat, and she’s staring right at him. He uncrosses his legs and pulls himself upright so that he’s sitting up with his knees bent, leaning his weight on his hands, which are planted on the ground behind him on either side. He stares at her, then sighs and looks the other way so she can’t see his face.

“I’m worried about you, alright?” he admits. Diana doesn’t respond, so he turns to face her. His fingers clench, gripping tightly onto handfuls of grass. “You always work too much, but the last week or two? It’s been ridiculous. Akko said she’s barely seen you. I talked to Hannah and Barbara and they said that you haven’t been sleeping.”

“There’s no need to worry,” Diana protests, “I’m certainly a touch overworked, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m perfectly alright.”

“No you’re not.” Riley insists. Diana draws herself up, brows furrowed, a furious retort on the tip of her tongue, but before she can muster a single contrary word, she crumbles. Her whole posture folds inwards, and all of a sudden she looks very small, and very vulnerable. Her hands fold together in her lap, her fingers listlessly tangling and untangling. The sound of songbirds chirping overhead seems out of place compared to the gloominess of her demeanor.

“You’re not a robot, Diana. So the two of us are going to lie down under this tree, and you’re going to take a goddamn nap.”

Diana considers this for a moment, then nods slowly. She uncrosses her legs and lies down, back flat against the grass. Her body shuffles awkwardly as she tries to get comfortable. Riley follows suit and lies back down, folded his arms behind his head. Diana glances over at him, before mimicking him and resting her head against her crossed arms.

“I believe I mentioned the dance I’m helping organize at the Hanbridge estate?” Diana says at length. Riley glances over at her.

“Yeah. Is that what’s got you so busy?”

“Hmm.” Diana pauses, the words clearly wanting to come out, just waiting for her to decide their form. “It… it has to be perfect.”

Riley furrows his brow. “Why?”

“It just does. I can’t stand the thought of having to see the look on Daryll’s face if I make a mistake.”

“Is Daryll your mom, or your dad?” Riley props himself up on his elbows to look at Diana directly. Diana gives him an odd look.

“Riley, my mother and father passed away many years ago.”

“Ah shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t know about that.”

“It’s alright. But no, Daryll is my aunt. This is the first time I’ll be attending an event such as this with Akko as my partner, so I’m expecting her to be even more insufferable than she usually is. I’m dreading it, to be honest.”

“She’s not a fan of the whole ‘liking girls’ thing, is she?”

“To put it mildly.”

Riley nods, a sympathetic frown on his face. “Trust me, as a card-carrying member of the My Family Sucks club, I know exactly how that is.”

“She loathes Akko, not just for being female, but for being a commoner as well.” A wistful smile crosses her face. “It makes me sad that things have to be this way. I like to think that my mother would have loved Akko.”

“She would have,” Riley insists, “Akko is like the coolest person I know. Who wouldn’t?”

Diana chuckles, “You say that to the girl who couldn’t stand her at first.”

“Yeahhh,” Riley drawls exaggeratedly, “but she won you over in the end.” The end of his sentence lilts upwards, almost like a question. Diana laughs.

“She certainly did, didn’t she?”

Diana falls silent again, and instead of lying back, Riley shifts over and settles down beside her so they’re shoulder to shoulder. He grabs her hand and squeezes it firmly.

“It’s alright. You know whose opinion is the one that matters, and you know she isn’t gonna care if it’s not perfect.”

Diana sighs and closes her eyes. She nods, and shifts over to press a little closer to Riley, lying on her back with her head tilted to the side, cheek against his shoulder. Riley smiles, and closes his eyes too.

As he allows himself to begin drifting off, he murmurs, “Let’s get some rest.”

* * *

Luna Nova students are not allowed out of their dorms after curfew without special permission, but it’s a lovely evening, and Riley wants to fly. He has become an expert at sneaking out over the course of the past year, and before long, he finds himself strolling unhurriedly along the outer perimeter of the school, hands buried in the front pockets of the zip-up hoodie he has on over his uniform. The sky is clear, the moon is bright, and the still air feels cool and humid. Tonight is the night of the dance at the Hanbridge estate, and his idle worrying about how it might be going left him restless, so he welcomes the way the fresh air helps clear his mind.

His idle path leads away from the outer walls, across the open lawn towards the broom shed. When he finally tears his eyes away from their stargazing, another figure comes into view, striding purposefully towards the shed from the other direction, coming from the observatory tower.

The immediate reflex to duck and hide runs through his body, but he relaxes when he sees that the silhouette doesn’t match any of the professors. Whoever it is, they are holding a broom, and moving quickly. As he reaches the shed, he leans against the side and waits for the figure to arrive.

“Akko?” Riley’s eyebrows shoot up when the figure gets close enough for him to recognize it. She’s still wearing her dress from the dance, a simple, cute, pink one, with a white bow holding back her hair. Akko doesn’t respond right away, which is unusual in and of itself, but as she gets closer, Riley notices the knit in her brow, how tightly her fists are clenched around the handle of the broom, the steely, cold glint in her eyes. “Hey, are you okay dude?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” she huffs, yanking the door to the shed open and stepping inside without even a sideways glance. Riley follows her in.

“Where’s Diana?” Akko slams her broom back onto the rack with a loud clatter of wood on wood, and then brushes roughly past Riley as she storms out.

“I dunno. We landed at the observatory. I don’t think she followed me down.”

“What the hell happened?” Riley demands, anxiety rising in his throat.

“I said I don’t wanna talk about it!” Akko snaps. “I’m going to bed.”

She storms off. Riley chases after her, but then thinks better of it and simply stands, watching her go. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth and looks back over his shoulder at the silhouette of the observatory. It's too far away to make out any details.

A moment of indecision, then he sets off towards the observatory.

The stillness of the night air seems entirely too quiet now, discordant with the anxious energy flowing through his limbs. The observatory looms above him, and the ancient wooden door creaks and groans as he hefts it open. Inside, his footsteps echo as he makes his way up the winding stone staircase. He crests the top of the stairs, breathing a little heavier, and sees the landing stretch out before him, the night sky hanging endless above it.

Diana sits at the end of the landing with her back perfectly straight against the railing behind her. Her legs are stretched out in front of her, knees slightly bent. Her hands rest in her lap, clasped neatly together. She stares straight ahead. She's wearing an elegant, sapphire blue dress, and the complementing blue pins holding her hair in an updo are askew, letting a few windswept strands escape. The moon hangs in the sky directly above her, surrounding her with silvery light that catches on those loose strands. 

Riley approaches her slowly. As he gets closer, he can make out the blank expression on her face, eyes far-off and vacant. He stops and leans to the side, crossing one leg over the other and putting his weight on his left arm, resting on the railing.

"Rough night, huh?"

"Hmm."

She doesn't even turn to look at him. He turns to the side so his back is parallel with the railing, placing his other arm on it and leaning back to stare at the stars.

"So who do I need to beat up?"

That earns a quiet, watery chuckle. She hangs her head and sighs.

"Me, believe it or not."

He nods and turns to look at her. "Well, as someone who's been known to be a bit of a prick from time to time, I'm probably the right guy to talk to."

"I…" Diana begins, but the words refuse to come out. When she lifts her head up again, Riley can clearly see the tears streaking her face. He moves closer and sits down next to her, shoulder to shoulder, facing straight ahead.

"I don't understand why I let them affect me this much. I shouldn't care about what they think. But they were being so awful, and I could just _ feel _ the judgment radiating off of them."

"Daryll?"

Diana nods, "And my cousins. I should have stood by Akko's side, I should have defended her. But I locked up, and nine, I acted so _ cold _ towards her. And then..."

"Hey," Riley cuts her off as Diana chokes on her words, "You didn't ruin anything. You gotta apologize, but Akko will forgive you, I know she will."

"I know, I know, but…" she trails off with a sigh. There is a long silence as they both gaze at the night sky. Diana shivers, and Riley reflexively unzips his hoodie and drapes it over her shoulders. She murmurs something that sounds like a thank you.

"I wanted this evening to go well so badly. I wanted… I wanted to dance with her." Riley gives her a questioning glance. "I've never danced with anyone before. Not truly. I've gone through the motions with the insufferable men Daryll tried to set me up with, but I've never _ danced. _ I was greatly looking forward to dancing with her."

Riley has never seen someone cry quite like Diana cries. She's entirely silent, no shudders or gasping breaths. The tears just pour down her face, and her hands clench tight enough to shake.

Riley takes one of her hands and coaxes it open, threading his fingers between hers and squeezing reassuringly. He doesn't say anything, not trusting himself to find the right words. He doesn't say anything when he presses tight against her side as she cries. He doesn't say anything when she finally calms herself. He doesn't say anything when they make their way back to the dorms.

He just holds her hand.

* * *

The next afternoon Riley finds himself at the door of the blue team dorm, knocking hesitantly. He waits until he hears Diana's voice telling him to come in before opening it. She's sitting on the couch, reading a book and sipping a cup of tea, the pot resting on the coffee table directly in front of her. He looks around, and doesn't see Hannah or Barbara, so he assumes they're alone.

"Riley," Diana greets him brightly, "how are you?" She marks her place in her book and sets it down. She's wearing the hoodie Riley left with her last night, and looks extremely cozy.

Riley shuts the door behind him and walks in. "I'm good. I just wanted to see how you were doing." She gestures for him to sit, and he takes the spot next to her on the couch, immediately slouching back and getting comfortable.

"I'm doing much better, thank you. Akko and I had a long chat this morning after we both calmed down."

"Told you she'd forgive you."

Diana laughs, "Well I'm glad you were right. And I'm glad you're here. I was actually planning to go look for you in a few minutes."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. The past few weeks have been quite stressful, but the pressure is relieved now. I believe it was you who said I needed to learn to relax?"

Riley perks up, suddenly excited. "Wait, are you telling me that you want me to show you how to chill?"

Diana gives him a pointed stare. "No. I would simply enjoy some company, if that's alright with you."

"Hell yeah. I'm a pro slacker, I will bring so many relaxed vibes, just you wait."

Diana _ giggles, _ and the sound is so unexpected that Riley is speechless for a moment. "I'm glad that I'll be able to defer to your greater expertise." She begins pouring him his own cup of tea.

"Didn't feel like relaxing with Akko?" He finally gathers his words. She gives him a wry, conspiratorial smile.

"As much as I adore her, Akko is an endless wellspring of energy. She's far too restless to simply sit and enjoy the silence with me while I read."

Riley snorts with laughter, "I'm guessing you're speaking from experience here?"

Diana nods, which just makes Riley laugh more. He takes the cup of tea she hands him and sips it. The first time the two of them had tea together he had been surprised at how much he liked it, and now he seeks it out whenever the two of them are together.

"Well, if we're going to relax…" Riley says, and transforms himself into boymode, choosing a casual outfit like the one he wore at movie night. He stretches, letting out a deep sigh of relief, and then lounges back on the couch, closing his eyes and wriggling a bit as he gets settled.

"You look comfortable." Diana says with an amused smile.

"I am," he replies, "I couldn't tell at first, because I was so nervous and excited when I first started doing this, but it makes me feel much more relaxed."

"How so?"

He shrugs. "Just feels right, I suppose." Diana smiles, drains the last of her tea, and opens her book again.

The two of them sit there like that for the rest of the afternoon, Diana enjoying her novel, Riley napping and sipping tea. Every once in a while they'll comment on something or strike up a few words of conversation. But mostly they just enjoy the silence.

It's not what Riley thought being friends with Diana would be like, but he enjoys this. Diana can be a very quiet person when no one is expecting anything from her. It's not as if they're interacting much. But he enjoys her presence, enjoys spending time with her. Enjoys letting himself feel mellow and comfortable with someone who won't get bored by that. It feels similar to spending time alone with Constanze, that same quiet appreciation for one another's company.

Diana warns him when she knows Hannah and Barbara are due to return, and he transforms back begrudgingly. He gets ready to leave, but before he does, he turns to her.

"We should do this more often."

"Well, you're always welcome here Riley." Diana says, with a hand placed gently on his arm. And the look in her eyes tells him that she means it.

* * *

  
  


It's almost midnight when Diana hears something tap on her window. She looks up from her textbook and squints through the dim candlelight. Right outside her window is Riley, floating there on a broom and motioning for her to open it. He's in full boymode, suit and tie, hair slicked back, chest flat.

"What's going on?" The cool air penetrates the cozy warmth of her room as she opens the window.

"Remember that dress you wore to the dance? Put it on."

"Pardon?"

He grins, "Put on your pretty blue dress, and come with me. I've got a surprise for you."

She opens her mouth to argue, but something in his eyes stops her. A nervous undertone that pleads for her trust. She nods, suddenly grateful that her bed is in a separated from Hanah and Barbara's by a wall of bookshelves, so she doesn't have to worry about waking them. Riley turns around to give her privacy while she changes.

It isn't quite as nice as she looked at the dance. Her hair isn't done up, and she's not wearing any makeup. But it's something.

She clears her throat to get his attention. When he turns around, he gives her a soft, genuine smile.

"You look gorgeous."

"Well I would like to know what I'm all dressed up for."

"C'mon." He scoots up on his broom a bit to make space behind him and holds out his hand for her to take. With only a moment of hesitation, she takes his hand, and lets him help her up so she's straddling the broom behind him, arms wrapped loosely around his waist.

The recklessness and showing off that normally defines how he flies is completely absent. The broom drifts through the air, smooth and steady, leading up and away. It soon becomes clear that they're flying towards the new moon tower, where the sorcerer's stone is kept. Sure enough, he pulls the broom up and up, bringing them all the way to the top and settling on the circular landing. They dismount, using the bright teal glow of the stone to see.

Despite the fact that they're getting into mid-autumn, the night air is pleasantly mild, and Diana breathes deeply of it.

"This is beautiful Riley."

"I thought you'd like it."

"Is this what you wanted to show me?"

Riley fishes out his wand and casts a spell, and suddenly they are surrounded by the sound of smooth, slow classical music. Diana freezes. Riley is holding out his hand in clear invitation.

"You didn't get to have your dance last week. I'm not Akko, but I figured I could at least give you a dance with someone you actually like."

Diana stares for a moment, taken aback. Her shoulders relax, and her smile is as soft and fond as any Riley has seen in his life.

She takes his hand.

The music is slow and soft, and they move awkwardly for a minute before they manage to find their rhythm. Riley leads, his movements far more graceful than Diana expected.

"When did you learn how to dance?" Diana asks, "I was required to learn growing up, but it doesn't strike me as something you'd pursue."

"I've always loved it. These days I tend to stick to broom dancing for the most part. After all, I've got a reputation to keep." He winks at her, and she chuckles softly.

"You're very good at it." she says, and it's true. Riley moves with an effortless elegance, flowing like water. Diana can match him, but she's more stiff and practiced in her movements. He improvises, drifts gracefully from motion to motion like it requires no thought at all. She allows herself to sink into his rhythm.

"Have you ever danced with a partner before?"

He shakes his head. "No, I've, uh, I've actually never dated anyone.

"Really? Self-described ladykiller Riley O'Neill has never had a girlfriend? Color me surprised."

"I dunno, I definitely had crushes on girls. Some of them even liked me. But I never made a move. Every time I thought about it, it just felt weird, and wrong, and I chickened out. I used to think that it was some kind of internalized homophobia, but looking back at it now, it was probably because I felt weird about them being attracted to me as a _ girl. _" Diana hums in consideration, and then goes quiet, simply enjoying the closeness as they dance together.

All too soon, the song is over. Diana moves to pull away from Riley, but he stops her.

"Oh we're not done. That was just to get us warmed up."

A new song starts up, a slow, sweet piano melody that Diana recognizes instantly. Her eyes go wide. 

"How did you know?" she asks, a little breathless.

"I may have pumped Akko for intel. I figured your favorite song would probably be something classical." The two of them begin moving again to the halting rhythm of Clair de Lune.

This dance is nothing like the last song. They hold each other even closer when it's slow, and when it becomes fast and energetic they follow suit, improvising with twirls and spinning in quick circles around one another. Diana's eyes don't leave Riley's for a single moment.

It is fast and slow. Soft and exciting. It is joyful and exuberant and intimate all at once. The silver light of the full moon tinges the edges of the otherworldly glow of the stone, swirling together into a phantasmagoric shimmer. It makes the world around them dreamlike, and it would be almost eerie if they weren't so preoccupied. Their bodies are warm against one another, a lovely contrast to the pleasant coolness of the air.

As the last notes fade out, they stand pressed up against one another, chest to chest, breathing heavily. Diana's grip on his shoulder relaxes, and her hand splays out against his collarbone. When she finally breaks his gaze, it's to rest her head against his shoulder and breathe out a contented sigh.

"Thank you." she murmurs, the words coming out barely audible against his jacket. He wraps his arms around her a little tighter. 

There is a fluttering in Riley's chest, and he knows exactly what it means. Normally around this point there would be an anxious sense of dread creeping up his spine, as his brain shouts that something is wrong, that this isn't what he wants. But it is completely absent. Instead there is a contented pride at how well his plan went.

When Diana pulls back their eyes meet again, still only a few inches apart. Her cheeks are bright and charmingly pink. There is a long, pregnant pause before either of them speak.

"Should we head back?" Riley asks. This breaks the spell, and she clears her throat and nods. He turns, and picks up the broom from where he left it on the ground, mounting it and calling out the spell to hover a few inches above the ground.

"You ready princess?" he asks, and then immediately realizes his mistake and winces, "Ah, shit, my bad, it just slipped out."

"No, it's alright. I, um, I don't mind." She looks away in an entirely unsuccessful attempt to hide her blush. He smiles, and nods.

He helps her up onto the broom behind him. She wraps her arms around his waist again, and if her grip is perhaps a little tighter this time, he doesn't point it out. The broom carries them away from the landing, and as they leave the teal glow behind, the night solidifies around them and becomes real again.

Riley finds himself feeling strangely confident. That feeling of dread that always accompanied his attempts at romance made him more awkward and self-conscious in those moments than most who know him would expect. But it's not there. He is calm and comfortable.

The broom cuts a lazy, arcing path through the air. Diana rests her head, eyes closed, cheek pressed against the nape of Riley's neck. It isn't particularly cold out, but she clings closer to Riley's warmth nonetheless.

He helps her off the broom again when they get back. After she's safely on the ground he starts to drift away from the window slightly, but she tugs his hand to pull him closer.

"Goodnight." Diana murmurs. Soft lips press against Riley's cheek. Before he can respond, she turns away, shutting the window behind her.

He floats there for a moment, brain still processing, before he flies away, moving on autopilot.

He breathes out, eyes closed, content. In that moment, he feels self-assured, the constant doubt and worry his explorations have brought falling silent. There are two things of which he is absolutely certain.

He knows that he has never felt this comfortable in his own skin before.

He knows that this is exactly who he wants to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be up on Monday the 23rd.


	4. Hand in Hand

“Nine, I have no idea where to even start.” Riley looks over a sea of men’s clothing. Banal retail music drones quietly in the background, combining with the white overhead lighting that’s entirely too bright to make the atmosphere of the clothing store distinctly unpleasant. He walks his fingers along the tops of the hangers on the rack closest to him.

“How so?” Akko asks, “Just, like, start picking stuff out, right?”

“Alright Akko, you’ve got no clothes at all. Build an entire wardrobe from scratch. Right now.”

“...Okay yeah, fair enough.”

Diana hums, her brow knotted in thought. “Well perhaps you could reference the styles of clothes you used when transforming yourself. Think about an outfit you liked, and then figure out each item you need to build that outfit. Doing it one outfit at a time might be more time consuming, but it would be far more organized.”

Riley snorts and picks out a black tank top, holding it up to see the cut. “Organized? Have you met me Diana?”

“I have actually,” Diana replies without a trace of sarcasm in her voice, “it was quite pleasant.”

Riley smirks as he moves along to the next stand, “I don’t believe that’s the word you would’ve used when you met me.”

“Perhaps, but I think it’s safe to say that everyone in my present company surprised me.”

“Is that how you two ended up together? Akko just swooped in and declared herself your girlfriend while you were still in shock?”

"Yep!" Akko chirps, "and now she's stuck with me." She pecks Diana on the cheek, making her light up just as pink as she always does when Akko gets affectionate in public.

Diana clears her throat. “I think I see the section for formal wear over there if you’d like to replicate that blue button-up shirt you’ve transformed into a few times.”

“Oh yeah” Akko lights up, “that looked so hot on you, you’ve gotta get one of those.” Riley snorts as Akko drags him along behind her.

“Do you really think that you, a lesbian, are the best judge of what’s hot on men?”

Akko rolls her eyes. “I’m not _ blind. _ Now come on.”

While the overwhelming feeling never quite goes away, they manage to chip away at it. Riley picks out a pile of clothing that looks good and takes it to the changing room. After one trip of mostly duds, they gather another pile and try again.

When Riley told Diana and Akko his intention to start preparing to come out publicly, this was always the first task on the list. Keeping his clothes transformed saps energy and focus, especially on top of the physical transformation he wants to maintain. It’s only one step in a long, daunting process, but it is a step forward nonetheless.

Riley tries on the button-up that Akko insisted on - a deep blue one, as well as a pair of black jeans. After a quick glance in the mirror, he nods and opens the door, stepping outside.

“What do you think?”

“Oh yeah, I told you, that’s hot.” Akko immediately responds. The question in Riley’s eyes is clearly visible when he flicks his gaze over to Diana. She doesn’t respond as quickly as Akko. Instead, her appraising gaze drags over Riley, sweeping down, and then back up. She blinks, and then her eyes focus again, meeting his.

“Definitely hot.” After a moment, he has to break away from the intensity of her gaze. The whole interaction only took a few seconds, but she was so deliberately unsubtle, so unlike her normal reserved tactfulness, he has no idea what to make of it. He’s used to flirting with her, after all, he flirts with pretty much everyone, jokingly or not, but he’s entirely unaccustomed to her flirting _ back. _

Pushing those thoughts to the side, he turns back to look at himself in the mirror again. His fingers fiddle with the collar.

“Akko,” he says as he examines his reflection, “undo another button? Or is it good like this?”

“Hmm, could go either way. Depends on how spicy you’re feeling.”

He snickers and undoes another button. Turns to one side, then the other, to get a better sense of how it looks on him. Warm contentment floods through his body the more he stares at himself.

“This is nice,” he murmurs. “It felt so weird to dress like this at first, even though I liked it. But it’s getting more and more comfortable.”

“That’s awesome,” Akko says.

“What changed?” Diana asks.

Riley turns to look at them over his shoulder. “I think our little tea sessions helped actually. Just getting to hang out and be casual while I’m in boymode, y’know?”

“I’m glad.” Diana smiles.

After another hour or two of shopping, as well as some gentle bickering between Riley and Diana, they leave the store with the beginnings of a new wardrobe in tow. A gust of cold wind slices through them, and Riley buttons up his new winter coat. It’s only a few weeks after the holidays, and they’re still stuck in the coldest part of the season.

“Alright, let’s head back. You’re making me tea when we get there by the way,” Riley informs Diana, “it’s way too damn cold, I need something to warm me up.”

“Actually, there’s one other stop I would like to make before we return.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

He rolls his eyes, “Alright then, keep your secrets. Lead the way, princess.” Diana just nods. Akko stares at Diana in bewilderment at her lack of response.

“Don’t you hate being called princess?”

Diana’s glance shifts off to the side, and it’s entirely unclear whether the pink in her cheeks is from the cold or not. “I did, but… I, well, I suppose I don’t really mind it. It’s… it’s nice.”

Akko smirks knowingly and pats Diana on the shoulder as she walks past. Diana huffs and gathers herself, taking off after Akko. Riley follows behind the two of them, feeling entirely too pleased with himself.

A thin dusting of snow covers the sidewalks, which has turned into a disgusting grey-brown slush along the edge of the curb. There’s a few other shoppers walking about, but otherwise the sidewalks are mostly empty, people choosing to stick to traveling by car or just staying inside while the wind is so frigid. The three of them walk for almost ten minutes, and the colder his ears get, the more Riley complains. Despite his badgering, Diana refuses to tell him where they’re going.

They finally stop in front of a storefront that Riley has never seen before. The facade is elegant and old fashioned in its design, all black, with the name in gold letters above the entryway. Diana holds the door open for him, and he rushes through to get into the warmth of the interior. Said interior is as classy as the exterior, with an ornate rug covering most of the floor, and two rows of shiny hardwood tables covered in different fabrics. The room is long and narrow, leading up to a desk on the far end.

“What is this place?”

“A tailor,” comes Diana’s matter-of-fact response, “every single member of my family who has attended Luna Nova has gone here, including myself.”

“Well, Diana, this is really cool and all, but why are we here? This place is, uh, a little rich for my blood, and most of these new clothes fit pretty well anyway.”

“Oh we’re not here for your new clothes. We’re here to improve your old ones.”

Riley gives her a blank look.

“Your Luna Nova uniform. I thought you might not wish to continue wearing a uniform that requires a skirt. Here, they’ll be able to make you something that will be far more masculine, while still fulfilling the uniform’s requirements.”

Riley’s lips part. He stares at her, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he searches for what to say. Before anything can come to mind, the shopkeeper comes out and greets them, and Riley finds himself swept up in a tide of activity. He can’t quite seem to get any words out, as Diana explains what they’re looking for, and he’s rushed off to be measured.

The tailor is a spindly old man with a sly, crooked smile and a dry, sarcastic wit. As he measures Riley, he muses out loud about a few ideas for replicating the general look of the uniform in a masculine style. It only takes a few tries to find something that looks right.

“Well, he says he’ll still need to make a few alterations, but what do you think?” Riley asks as he rejoins Akko and Diana in the main room.

The crisp, white shirt that is the base of the uniform is still present, but it fits snugly around his flat chest. The navy blue vest is still buttoned up over it, but the cut of it is subtly different in a way that downplays the curviness of his hips. The ribbon that usually goes around the collar has been replaced by an emerald green tie, the same color as the sash he wore with his old uniform. Instead of a skirt, he’s wearing a pair of blue pants that hug his legs tightly.

“I’m thinking I wish _ I _ could wear pants instead of my dumb ol’ skirt.” Akko pouts.

“I think you look rather dashing.”

He runs his hands over the line of his vest, adjusting it ever so slightly. “I think I kinda love it?”

The tailor walks back out and over to the desk with the register, and before Riley can make a move, Diana immediately walks up and starts to pay.

“Wait, Diana, no-”

“Hush,” she cuts him off, “you said it yourself, this place is a little rich for your blood. I wouldn’t have taken you here if I wasn’t planning to pay.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but thinks better of it, his sigh as soft as the smile on his face. He leans back against the table behind him while Diana pays. Akko stands on the other side, resting her forearms on the top of a display stand. When Diana finishes and rejoins them, Riley stops her with a hand on her forearm.

“Listen, Diana, I, um, I really appreciate all this, you know that?”

She smiles. “You’re very welcome Riley.”

“I mean it. I’m not, uh, I’m not really any good at this kinda sentimental shit, but I’m serious. You’ve been helping me out a bunch the last few months, and it… it means a lot to me.”

“Consider it an apology, for underestimating you. You truly are a remarkable man, Riley O’Neill. I’m glad that I’ve been able to get to know you.”

His face goes warm, and he ducks his head, before flicking his gaze back up to her.

“You’re pretty remarkable yourself, princess.”

Their eyes remain locked for a long, charged moment, and Riley almost can’t breathe, too afraid to break it. What eventually snaps him out of it is the realization that Akko is staring at the two of them. She’s brought her arms up so she’s resting her elbows on the stand, her forearms pressed together and her hands splayed out in opposite directions, forming a cradle where she rests her chin, a shit-eating grin on her face. Riley coughs and straightens up when he notices her.

“We should uh, we should probably head out…”

“Oh no, please don’t stop on my account.” Akko drawls. Diana shoots her a glare, to which Akko responds by sticking out her tongue.

“C’mon, let’s go. You still owe me that tea, Cavendish.”

* * *

  
  
  


Three quick knocks sound against the door to the red team dorm. Riley shuffles a bit and his fingers fiddle with the hem of his skirt, still stuck using the old uniform until he comes out publicly. Muffled shuffling sounds come from behind the door, and some vague grumbling. It opens, and Sucy stands in front of him, a bottle of some unidentifiable acid-green potion in her hands.

“Amanda, you’re just in time,” a toothy grin spreads across her face, “testing on Akko is nice, but I’m aiming for statistical rigor.”

“Sucy! No experimenting on my friends!” Akko’s voice calls out from within.

“Yeah none of your potions are going anywhere near my mouth.”

Sucy frowns, “Everyone here is so dull. Maybe I’ll go see Jasminka, I’m sure I could trick her into believing its tasty.” She brushes past Riley and walks away down the hall without another word. Riley considers trying to follow her and stop her, but instead shakes his head, deciding it’s not worth it.

“If she kills my roommate I’m gonna be pissed.” he says, letting himself into the room and closing the door behind him.

“Well she hasn’t killed _ me _ yet, so I’m sure it’ll be fine. What’s up dude?”

Riley flops down next to Akko on her bed, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed behind his head. “I’m bored and you’re entertaining.”

Akko crosses her arms, “What am I, some kind of circus attraction for you to gawk at?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Do something interesting.” Akko huffs and looks away from him. Riley snorts with laughter at Akko’s indignation.

“I don’t believe you, by the way,” Akko grumbles, “I know that look on your face. You had something you wanted to talk about.” She leans back so she’s resting against the wall next to Riley, her arms still folded over her chest and a pout still adorning her face. Riley clears his throat awkwardly.

“Uh, yeah, I guess I did.” His leg bounces restlessly as he talks. “So, uh, you and Diana are both poly, right?”

“Mmhmm.”

“And, you know, me and Diana, we’ve been hanging out a lot these past few months.”

“The answer is yes Riley.” There’s a tinge of amusement in Akko’s voice.

“Huh?”

“I don’t mind if you ask my girlfriend out.”

Riley grins and sits up straight, “You knew I was planning on it?”

Akko rolls her eyes and follows suit, “I mean, you two aren’t exactly subtle.” She hesitates for a moment, biting her lip, before smiling mischievously and continuing, “And even if you were, this ain’t exactly the first time I’ve had this conversation.”

Riley whirls to face her, “Wait, what? Do you mean…”

“You’re not getting anything else out of me,” Akko smugly replies.

“Oh come on man! You can’t leave me hanging like that!”

“Not. Another. Word.” Akko shakes her head.

“Ugh, fiiiiine. Be that way.” The two of them laugh together. Riley turns and looks out the window. It’s a miserable day outside, not cold enough to snow, but cold enough that the pouring rain is freezing. “You really don’t mind though?” he murmurs.

“You make her really happy.” Akko says, and an uncharacteristically shy smile spreads across Riley’s face.

“Yeah?”

Akko nods, “Mmhmm. And besides, you’re my best friend. It’ll be cool to spend more time with the three of us all together.” Her eyes widen and her voice gets loud and excited as an idea strikes her, “Oh! We could both take her out together! Like a double date!” She pauses and places her finger on her lips as she thinks, “Wait, but a double date is usually two sets of two people. So would that be a triple date, because there’s three of us? But it doesn’t make sense for a triple date to have less people than a double date. Hmm…”

“Call it whatever you want Akko, I don’t give a shit,” Riley snorts.

The two of them are quiet for a moment. When Riley finally continues, his voice is soft. “But yeah, that… that sounds really nice."

* * *

  
  
  


“I’m going to tell Jasna and Conz tonight.” Riley breaks the silence. Diana looks over at him. The two of them are on the couch - Diana sitting up, her posture perfect, paging through the novel she’s been reading, while Riley slouches beside her, his head resting on her shoulder while he fades in and out of a nap. The two of them relaxing together in Diana’s dorm has become an increasingly frequent occurrence over the past few months.

Diana marks her place with a bookmark and sets it down on the coffee table. “Oh?”

“Yep.” Riley sighs, and then shifts to lie flat on his back across the couch, his head resting in Diana’s lap, eyes closed. “I’m gonna tell ‘em when I head back.”

Diana doesn’t respond, just looks down at him and waits patiently.

“Should be fine. You know them, they’re both pretty chill.”

“But you’re worried that it won’t be.” When she says it, it’s clear that it isn’t a question. Riley shrugs as much as his current position will allow.

“Nah, not really. You never know for sure with these things, but they’ll be cool.”

“It’s okay to be nervous.” Diana reassures him. He opens one eye and looks at her for a second before closing it again and sighing.

“Yeah… They’re like, my two closest friends outside of you and Akko. It’d suck if they weren’t cool with it. I don’t know.”

“I can’t say that I’ve spent much time with Constanze or Jasminka. The three of you are close?”

Riley nods, “We’re all pretty different people, but we get along really well. People never take the time to get to know Conz, it pisses me off. They’re too impatient to wait for her to write things down. But you know, just because she’s mute doesn’t mean she hasn’t got anything to say. She’s so damn smart, and honestly really, really funny if you take the time to listen to her. And Jasna, well, Jasna’s just a total sweetheart.”

Fingers weave gently through Riley’s hair as Diana brushes it back calmingly. He hums in contentment.

“You like that?” Riley’s eyes are closed, but he can hear the smile in Diana’s voice.

“Mmm. S’nice.” They fall silent, simply enjoying the closeness. Sitting comfortably in the quiet of the early evening. It’s a few minutes of this, Diana gently carding her fingers through his hair, before he takes a deep breath and speaks again. “Alright, this is about to put me to sleep, I should head back before I pass out and miss my chance to talk to them tonight.”

“Just be glad I didn’t break out the chamomile this time, you wouldn’t have lasted five minutes.” Diana teases, and he chuckles as he sits up and gets to his feet.

“I’ll see you around Diana.”

“Do you mind if I walk with you? I need to ask Lotte a question about a class that we share, so I’m heading in that direction anyway.”

“Nah I don’t mind. Come on.” He gestures his head towards the door, and the two of them walk out together.

The blue team room is on the opposite end of the dorms from the red and green team rooms, which are both in the same wing. A few students bustle to and fro, and they find themselves surrounded by light chatter as they pass through the common room. When the two of them first started becoming closer, they would get surprised looks from the other students whenever they saw them together, but their friendship has long since stopped being a point of gossip. As they head through the halls, Riley is unusually quiet, which combined with Diana’s usual reserved nature, leaves them walking in silence. He starts to pick up the pace, walking faster and faster, his hands planted in the pockets of his skirt.

“Are you alright Riley?”

“I already told you, I’m fine.” he snaps. Diana gives him a long, lingering stare, but says nothing, just hums and turns to face forward once again.

Riley’s fidgeting is getting worse, and his posture is unbearably tense.

“Riley, it’s okay to not be okay.” Diana reminds him.

“I said I’m fine.” he seethes. “Look, I’m, ugh-” he groans, scrunching his eyes closed tightly, and pressing the heels of his hands on top before wrenching them away, “Look, I’m really trying not to snap at you here Diana, but I’m kinda freaked out right now and you’re not helping.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothing! There’s nothing you can do to help. Either they’re gonna be cool with it or they’re not, but there’s no way for me to _ know _ and I just, I just-” his breathing is getting faster and heavier, almost hyperventilating. Diana grabs his shoulder to try and keep him grounded, but he shrugs her off violently.

“Don’t touch me!” he yelps, and stumbles backward so that his back is against the wall. He presses his palms over his eyes again. His breaths are faster now, gasping, but he fights to control them, shuddering with each inhale, his chest trembling with the effort to hold them and force his body to let them out slowly. Diana bites her lip and stands in front of him, her hands fretting and worrying about as her mind tries and fails to find a way to help.

It takes several long minutes, but Riley manages to calm his breaths down. His whole body is still shivering and trembling, but he’s breathing slowly and evenly, and he’s lowered his palms, although his eyes are still closed.

“Mmm. Been a while since that’s happened,” he slurs through gritted teeth.

“Are you alright?” Diana asks, soft and quavering. Riley nods.

“Sorry if I scared you.”

“Nevermind that. I’m just worried for you.”

“I think I could use a hug right about now.” he requests, and Diana obliges. She pulls him close and hugs him gently, her arms trembling almost as much as his.

“Panic attack,” Riley explains. “I used to get ‘em a lot. Haven’t had one in a long time. It’s easier these days, now that I’ve got my meds.”

“I didn’t know that about you.” Diana murmurs. Riley hums noncommittally. He presses his face into her shoulder and sighs as her hand brushes up and down his back soothingly.

“I just-I dunno. Akko was the first person I ever told about this, and saying it scared the shit out of me. And you found out by accident. I dunno, it’s like we’ve been in a bubble the past few months. If I start coming out to people…”

“Then that means it’s real.” Diana finishes for him, and he nods against her shoulder.

Riley sighs and pulls away from her embrace, calming the tremors in his hands with a few more deep, measured breaths.

“I don’t want to put this off any longer. I’m just gonna do it.”

Diana cups his face in her hands, prompting him to look up into her eyes. “They love you. They loved you as Amanda, and they’ll love you as Riley.” She leans in and kisses him on the forehead. “You’re going to do amazing.” He holds his head high and takes one more deep breath.

“Damn right I am.” he blusters, half-joking and half-confident, betrayed by the trembling that still hasn’t quite left his voice. With a flick of his wand, he transforms into boymode. Then he turns and strides down the hallway, shoulders squared, and pushes open the door to the green team dorm.

“Damn right you are.” Diana murmurs to herself.

Later that night, she knocks on the door, and when he tells her to let herself in, all three of them are curled up next to one another on Riley’s bed, watching a movie on Constanze’s projector. He is still in his transformed outfit, and the smile on his face tells her that the dried tears around his puffy, red eyes were not born from sadness.

She joins them on the bed, and quietly resolves to get to know Riley’s roommates a little better.

* * *

  
  


“Hey, Diana, I wanna show you something!” Riley exclaims, throwing the door of the blue team dorm open and popping his head in. Diana looks up from her desk, covered in pages full of diagrams and notes as she works on her homework for professor Chariot’s class.

“Sure.”

“Awesome, throw on the heaviest coat you’ve got, we’re going outside.” She cocks her head to the side and blinks in confusion.

“Riley… I hardly think it’s a good idea to go outside after such a severe storm.” The whole morning and the night before, Luna Nova was hit by one of the worst storms it has seen in years, a full-on ice storm, which has kept everyone staying holed up inside. Even though the storm has cleared, the late afternoon sun shining through now that the clouds have passed, no one wants to go out into the bitter cold.

“Do you trust me?” Riley asks. Diana stares at him for a moment. She stands up, pushes in her desk chair behind her, and grabs a big, thick winter coat from her closet, as well as some heavy snow boots and a pair of gloves. Riley beams. “Come on.”

He grabs her hand and leads her out of the room. Diana follows him blindly as he leads her down to the first floor and outside, figuring it’s best not to ask where they’re going when Riley’s clearly in the mood to be cryptic. Outside, the sun is bright and vibrantly yellow, hitting them at a low angle as it gets close to setting. Riley leads the two of them over to the broom shed, pulls the door open, and grabs a broom, telling Diana to hop on. She glances at him curiously, but listens to him anyway, straddling the broom behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. Shortly, the two of them find themselves in the air, up and above the treeline, headed away from the school with no apparent destination before them.

“Nine, it’s frigid up here. I don’t think I can endure this for long Riley.”

“Don’t worry,” he reassures her, “we’re not going far.” She nods, scrunching her eyes shut and burying her face against his shoulder to take advantage of his warmth. True to his word, they are only flying for another minute or so before he begins to descend, and before long they’re on the ground, stepping off the broom in the middle of a wide, open clearing between the trees.

Diana extracts herself from Riley’s shoulder, and when she opens her eyes to look around, she gasps.

The storm has left all of the trees encased in a thin layer of ice. Every single branch and twig surrounded by a tiny layer of it, almost a centimeter thick. Even the individual needles of the evergreen trees are encased. It gives the woods an ethereal, silvery sheen. The rays of the setting sun filter through the branches, setting the silver forest afire with brilliant gold that shines and shimmers wherever it hits the ice.

The whole world around them _ glitters, _ as the golden light catches on the ice and makes it sparkle.

Diana clasps her hand over her mouth, wide eyed. Riley smiles at her adoringly as he watches her reaction. She turns in a slow circle as she takes it all in, trying to see everything around her all at once. When she finally lowers her hand, she’s beaming with unrestrained, childlike wonder.

“Riley, it’s _ beautiful.” _

“I thought you might like it.” 

“How-how did you find this place?”

He shrugs, “I saw an ice storm like this once as a kid, and I remembered how cool it looked after. After things cleared up earlier I just hopped on a broom and started flying around, looking for a good spot so I could show you.”

She turns and stares at him. “You spent your whole afternoon flying around in the freezing cold just to show me this?” He looks to the side and scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I wanna do nice things for you.” he mumbles. Diana smiles at him and steps closer, pulling him into a tight hug. Their cheeks are windbitten and pink from the cold, but they take warmth from one another. Diana’s head rests on his shoulder, pressed into the crook of his neck, and he holds her close, burying his nose in her hair. His words come out muffled against her hair. “You’re so good to me. I just want to give a little bit back.”

She pulls back, not nestled against him anymore, but staying pressed up close in his arms. Her eyes are watery, and he brings up a hand to gently wipe a tear off her cheek, the movement made clumsy by the thick gloves he’s wearing.

“Careful,” he mutters, “wouldn’t want it to freeze.” He brushes his thumb across her cheek again, and then lowers his hand to cradle her jaw. Diana’s lips part slightly, and they stare into one another’s eyes, their breaths visible in the cold air, mingling together between them. He draws her closer with a gentle pull on her chin, their foreheads pressing together, lips only inches apart. “I’d like to kiss you, if that’s alright.”

“Such a gentleman.” she teases, and tilts her chin up to bring their lips together.

The world narrows down to just the two of them. There is complete silence around them as they move together, not even a gust of wind to break the stillness. Their lips are chapped from the dry, frigid air, but Diana can’t bring herself to mind. Riley kisses her long and lingering and slow, gentle, but as rough and imprecise as everything else he does, and it’s so very _ him _ that Diana melts a little inside, despite the cold.

When they finally break apart Riley’s eyes flutter open. Diana’s eyes reflect the glittering sunset light, flecks of gold in her icy blue irises, so impossibly beautiful he can barely breathe.

“You are so beautiful, princess.” he whispers, and while her cheeks are too pink from the cold to tell the difference, he can see her blush in the shyness of her expression. She plants her face back in the crook of his neck to hide it.

“I like it when you call me that,” she whispers contentedly, holding him tighter and brushing her nose along his neck.

When she finally lifts her head again she turns so his arm is slung around her waist and she’s leaning against his side, watching the last rays of the sunset as it inches toward twilight. Neither of them speaks, simply enjoying the view, Riley’s hand brushing up and down her waist absentmindedly. Before too long they’re both shivering, and Riley gestures over towards the broom with a nod of his head.

She sits behind him on the broom again, arms around his waist, cheek resting on his back, but this time, she doesn’t resist the urge to press a kiss against the nape of his neck.

* * *

  
  
  


Riley, Diana, and Akko all stare at the door at the end of the hallway. It is the door to the headmistress’ office, and therefore one Akko is rather unfortunately well acquainted with. Riley checks his watch for the hundredth time.

Four minutes left.

Four minutes until things become real. Until Riley is officially out, until he’s officially Riley all day long, and all the teachers know, and this insane idea can’t be put back into the box anymore. Four minutes until he has to demand to be recognized for who he is.

He’s wearing his modified Luna Nova uniform, and the transformation spell has been cast to flatten his chest. This time his hair is not transformed - he actually got a haircut, buzzed short on the sides but still longer and spiky at the top, so he can sweep it back like he did when he transformed it the very first time at Appleton. It occurs to him suddenly that this is his first time presenting male in Luna Nova anywhere except one of their dorm rooms. It feels almost surreal.

“Why do we need to sit here and wait?” Akko whines, “You can just go in a few minutes early, it’s not a big deal.”

“No Akko, we are putting our best foot forward here. We will show up precisely on time, not a minute before or after.”

“And you’re completely sure it was eight, right?” Riley frets.

“I’m certain. When I asked, headmistress Holbrooke assured me she’d mark it in her schedule. She’s expecting us.” Riley paces back and forth, while Akko leans back against the wall of the hallway. The hallway is empty except for the three of them, the stately grandeur of Luna Nova’s walls almost intimidating when they’re not full of life. Riley checks his watch.

Three minutes.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this,” Riley frets, “it’s one thing when it’s just the three of us, but if I do this, I can’t take it back. This is so stupid.” Akko’s brow furrows, and she pushes off the wall to interrupt Riley’s pacing, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look her in the eye.

“Riley, you _ can _ do this. This is who you are, and I’m not going to let you force yourself to be someone else. You’re going to tell them who you are, and if anybody’s got a problem with it, they can take it up with me.”

Riley’s tense posture relaxes a little, and he smiles weakly. “You gonna throw down with Finnelan, huh?”

“No, I think Akko has found herself in enough trouble with professor Finnelan already,” Diana interjects, “but if she feels like raising a fuss…” She clenches her fist. “Trust me, I will put the fear of god in her.”

Riley and Akko stare at her, eyebrows raised.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you _ actually _ threaten someone before.”

“It’s kinda hot, isn’t it?” Akko sighs, with a dreamy smile on her face. Diana clears her throat and looks away, her cheeks turning an adorable pink. Riley checks his watch.

Two minutes.

“I just wish I could go with you.” Akko says, “I don’t feel right just waiting out here.”

“I know darling,” Diana soothes, running her hand through Akko’s hair, “but I think we’re all aware that Finnelan seeing you with us wouldn’t exactly help things along. I’ve gathered enough clout with the faculty to force them to move things along, and you… let’s just say that you’ve gathered the opposite of that.”

Riley groans, “Ugh, why does Finnelan have to be here for this? It would be so much easier if it was just Holbrooke, she’s chill.”

“Well, professor Finnelan is officially in charge of student guidance. If we’d like to begin getting things done, we need her to be present.” Riley barely registers her words. The longer he stares at the door at the end of the hall, the larger and more imposing it seems to grow. He checks his watch.

One minute.

“It’s almost time.” He closes his eyes and lets out a slow, calming breath. A breath that gets forced out of him considerably less calmingly when Akko sweeps him up in a tight hug.

“You’ve got this Riley. You’re gonna do great.”

He relaxes into the hug and squeezes back just as tight. “Thanks man. For being the first person I told. For everything, really.” Akko doesn’t respond, just lets him go and steps back, smiling comfortingly. Riley turns to face Diana.

“You ready?” she asks. He squares his jaw and purses his lips as his eyes flick toward the door.

“No. But I’m doing it anyway.”

“That’s the spirit.” Akko grins. Diana takes Riley’s hand and pulls him close, her other hand cradling his jaw. She kisses him, steady and lingering, and he sighs into the softness of her lips. The two of them part, but stay only inches away from one another. Diana’s eyes hold his, the quiet confidence of her gaze anchoring him.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

He gives her a shaky nod, and they both turn to look at the end of the hallway. They start towards it, and Diana doesn’t let go of Riley’s hand. Two sets of footsteps echo in tandem as they approach the door. Riley’s heart pounds but he stands tall, striding forward with a confidence he does not feel. He checks his watch.

It’s time. Time to tell the world who he is. Time to stop being scared, and stand in the light. Time to live up to his reputation, and do what he wants, no matter what anyone else might say. The heavy wood of the door is cool against his hand as he presses his palm flat against it. Diana presses hers against the other side, and they push the double doors open, revealing the headmistress’ office. Two figures stand by the desk in the center of the room. Diana laces their fingers tighter and squeezes reassuringly.

They walk through the door together, hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe it's finally finished. I started this project last January; the idea came to me one night and I sat down and wrote the entire first chapter all in one go. I postponed it, since I was in the middle of writing my She-Ra fic at that point. Since then, about a million different things have gotten in the way, and I altered and restructured the whole arc of the story several times, so this has been quite a journey for me. I'm really proud of how it turned out, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Let me know what you think, I'd love to get feedback!


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